Becoming a Tif, Chapter 1

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Thirteen years ago

Megan looked through the hospital window, everything outside seemed the same as usual, but for her it wasn’t. She had always liked the idea of magic, but now she wished it was a dream; a dream in which you could wake up from in a split of seconds, instead of bearing in mind the thoughts that troubled your hope. The man beside her bed stood there motionless, he dared not to speak, for that could cause an incredible pain to his beloved one. It wasn’t anyone’s fault the only thing to blame was destiny.

“Ophea will stay with me, you can go back to your kingdom. Love should not destroy your life and your responsibilities.” Megan murmured with a slight groan, without looking to the man standing next to her.

“I know”, the man replied coming closer and closer to Megan to sit by her side. He looked at Megan who was starting to get tears in her eyes. He felt the droplet touching his skin, but he resisted the envy of crying as well. After all, how would Megan feel if she knew her beloved one wouldn’t be happy without her, how would he be able to direct his kingdom with no happiness in his life?

The man bent down towards Megan and touched her red lips, to give her a last kiss. They both wished there could be another way, but that was the way things were meant to be, they both knew well enough that they shouldn’t mess with destiny. Megan touched the man’s visage with both compassion and sadness showing in her big blue eyes, she traced his mouth, nose and eyes with her finger and made sure to remember his face so as to never forget it.

Even though the man said he was leaving, he slept there with Megan until the bedroom’s clock struck midnight. He carefully got Megan out of his arms and went to give a goodbye kiss to Ophea, who was still asleep. He hesitated as he closed the wooden door but continued his way up, up to the sky.
Last edited by Lolo96 on Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:01 am, edited 2 times in total.




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Hey there! Welcome to YWS! I'm LittlePetRock, but everyone calls me LPR or Rocky.
I really, really like this story so far. You must post more of this, you must! :D

I found no grammatical mistakes, bravo!

I have one nit-pick:

Even though the man said he was leaving, he slept there with Megan until the bedroom’s clock stroked midnight. He carefully got Megan out of his arms and went to give a goodbye kiss to Ophea, who was still asleep. He hesitated as he closed the wooden door but continued his way up, up to the sky.
I thought she was in a hospital bed? Most hospital beds are very small. That would make it very difficult for him to lay in bed with her.

Once again, bravo, and welcome!
Star light; star bright,
It is time to take flight.
Off I go through the dark of night.
All my hopes and dreams in sight.




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I'm not sure, i wasn't really thinking about the hospital bed when i wrote that. But I know that some bed are okay in size...




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Okay so far ,but it you need to write a more.....please.
The only thing that I had problem I had was very minor,yet noticeable:

Even thought the man said he was leaving, he slept with Megan until the bedroom clock stroked midnight.


I sounded odd to me, 'struck' would sound more natural in this sentence.Welcome to YWS by the way, hope you like it.
"I became insane,with long intervals of horrible insanity."

"Their ideology is that human nature is fundamentally evil.In other words, humans are evil from the day they are born."

"Human is beatiful. Perfect is boring."



Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?
— Obi-Wan Kenobi