Runaway : The Journey of thieves {chapter 3}

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Chapter 3: Judging

As Terrence had said, Kitty was waiting impatiently by the front door. The second I stepped out of the room, she was on her feet.
“Hello Kitty,” I crooned. “Nice to see you again.”
Her tongue licked her crimson lips in single quick movement.
“As with you , Arion. I heard Master Terrence has taken a great liking to you. Funny.” Kitty let out a humph, her watchful eyes for once staying motionless in thought.
“What do you mean, funny? Terrence has never liked a girl before?” I mocked.
My eyes narrowed and locked onto hers; she flinched.
“Of course Master Terrence has liked other girls before, but not like this. I’m surprised he didn’t make a move knowing he liked you this much. His heart was beating pretty fast too.” Kitty let out a depressing sigh.
“How did you know his heart was beating fast? And what makes you say he likes me anyway, Kitty? You weren’t there.” I accused her.
She snarled, her lips curling upward, “Why Miss Kitty can hear everything my dear. Especially since I was waiting here the whole time. It’s kind of obvious that he’s fond of you. He didn’t lash Daren today like he should have. Daren always gets on his bad side. He’s had too many warnings and I could sense that the Captain was furious. He should’ve belted him by now. Also, he actually shows concern for you.” Kitty choked on her words. Her chest jerked forward as she coughed out an invisible hairball.
I looked to her in wide eyed horror.
“Sorry. I’m part cat, so I usually have the urge to cough out a hairball.” She apologized innocently.
“No it’s not that it’s just that I was confused when you said he was actually concerned for me.”
“Oh right. Well the Captain never shoes concern for anybody. He’s beautiful, handsome, and extremely clever and powerful, but he’s impassive. He doesn’t even show any emotion towards his five girlfriends, well that’s what they think they are. They’re not really dating him, they’re more of his toys. He doesn’t care what happens to them, just as long as he‘s not bored. And you, just a measly little child that he stumbles across in a dark alley can gain his affection without even trying! It’s unbelievable really, but he thinks you’re special. You made him laugh a genuine laugh! That must count for something.” She finished in a drone.
“Five girlfriends?! What do you mean?” I howled.
“Yes five. He doesn’t care for any of them though. The girls know that too. If they died, the Captain wouldn’t shed a single tear for them. He doesn’t shed tears for anybody. They’re all unspeakably stunning and women too. Maria’s even older than him, but he still isn’t thankful. You’re just a kid, and compared to them you’re a measly child. He just met you and already he confides in you! He even apologizes. He never ever confides, apologizes, or laughs, so this is a big deal ,Arion.” A serious expression splattered onto her gray face.
“Oh, sure Kitty! Whatever you say. It can’t be that bad.” I said, waving my hand in the air as if Kitty was a fool.
“ It is a big deal. Especially when Maria or Camille find out. Don’t let them get to you, no matter what they say. They think they’re so great and wonderful just because they’re the Captain’s girls. Those brutes! I absolutely loathe Maria and Camille, diminishing others’ confidence because they aren’t nearly as beautiful as they are. Why I’d like to see the look on their snooty little faces when they see you. You’re going to ruin those swine.” Kitty cursed them. Her voice was threatening as a snake’s lethal venom.
“Now come with me, child. We’re going to embellish you in garments so fine that even Maria and Camille will be jealous.” Kitty grabbed my arm before lugging me once more through the hall.
Our destination was in the northern wing of the underground empire. The north was where all the royal treasures, garments, and riches were stored. Kitty brought me to a grotto within a tall cavern. An emerald lake glowed within the grotto, its dancing reflections glowering against the limestone walls. Inside the emerald lake were a group of young maidens bathing serenely, while another group of working women bustled through the room doing different tasks. In the far end of the room was a long vanity table made completely of cerulean seashells.
“Welcome to the Emerald Spa.” Kitty sang as she danced through the room. The bathing women in the lagoon greeted Kitty before returning to their relaxation methods. Kitty took me by the arm and introduced me to all the other girls, including Sage and Tabitha. They then rushed me to a hot springs in another connecting cavern.
“Don’t throw out my cloak though, Tabitha. It was gift, and It’s pretty wicked don’t you think?” I called out to Tabitha who was holding my garments. She, Sage, and Kitty had thrown me into the spring and stripped me without permission, planning to dispose of all my old clothing.
“Fine, fine. But this dress must go!” Tabitha stuck her tongue out at me before leaving to dispose of the rest.
“Just stay in here for a while, Arion. Maybe take a nap because we might take a bit long.” Kitty waved down at me, a cheerful ear to ear smile spread across her face.
I rolled my eyes at her and glanced down at my submerged body, “Like I can go anywhere like this.”
The three of them cackled in unison, and they were off. I was the only one in the private springs, so my mind could wander where it pleased. I immersed everything below nose in the water, my eyes fixed on the top of the spring. The jade colored water bubbled furiously, a waft of white steam arising from it. I let my sore back lean against the edge of the rock pool, and gently drifted into my fancies.
When you have an ability to see anything at anytime or anyplace, the line between reality and fantasy blurs. You ask yourself if what you’re seeing in your mind is existent, or if it’s just the work of your wandering imagination. I began dreaming, or so I thought, of a woman lounging daybed. The female beared long, luxurious tresses of gold. They shimmered softly along with the radiance of her milky beige skin. Her liquid gold eyes were flickering with a fiery light. The scorching inferno blazed recklessly, blistering without control. The woman’s head rested on the edge of the satin couch, her arm used as a cushion for her head. A silk gown roamed her buttery skin, sheen and lustrous as her porcelain skin.
Her eyelashes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, her dark lashes shading her eyes like the leaves of a palm tree.
“My lady! My lady!” An voice called out from somewhere else. The voice was suave and sincere, but had a slight squeaking edge; it was bitter.
“Yes, my dear.” The lounging woman of gold called back.
Her silvery tone was flowed gently and smooth like the air through a flute. Her words escaped her lips as effortless as breathing, her statement fitting like a glove.
“May I come in?” The hostile voice shrilled.
Her words were like partial venom, a screeching to its rim.
“Of course you may.”
A light tapping of footsteps and a brief click of a door.

Last edited by Angels-Symphony on Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.




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Well, on first impression the size is a lot better. Maybe a little shorter still.


Her chest jerked forward as she coughed out an invisible hairball.


If its invisible, how does she know it's a hairball?

You’re going to ruin those swine.


swines

|Still very good, Me wonts to see where it goes, next one 'ere I come!
So stadig loop ons deur die pers Jakarandas wat val,die bome word kaal Pa staar na die beeld van Botha wat reis op sy perd,Hy wonder was bloed soveel werd.Soveel jare dra hy aan die naam van 'n plek,Soveel jare moet ons nou laat gaan,Is die naam dan so erg,so bitter en sleg?Hoekom gooi jul dit weg?




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I will start by saying, you have very little to critique, this piece is near flawless, and very captivating.




“Sorry. I’m part cat, so I usually the urge to cough out a hairball.” She apologized innocently.
Is there, perhaps, a word missing between 'usually' and 'the'?

“Oh right. Well the Captain never shoes concern for anybody. He’s beautiful, handsome, and is extremely clever and powerful, but he’s impassive.
I don't think that the 'is' is quite necessary.

He doesn’t even show any emotion towards any of his five girlfriends, well that’s what they think they are.
I would nix the first 'any' to avoid repetition. It isn't completely necessary anyway.

I absolutely loathe them, diminishing others’ confidence because they aren’t nearly as beautiful as they are.
I would be a teensey bit more descriptive with the they's. At least the second one.


Thats all I can do for now, but as I said, you make few mistakes.
Beautiful piece!
You can't spell Friend without Feind, my friend.




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LOOOOOOVED IT!!! :thud:
absolutely stunning piece. best i have seen on YWS! no jokes.
near flawless. everyone got the mistakes so i will leave them but still...
loved it!
awesome on soooo many levels. anyway. if you don't write the next chapter i will hunt you down and force you to. hehe!
:thud:


Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.



The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerszy Lec