Chapter 3:
“Anticipating, and planning for the day I sweep you
off your feet, I'd never leave you alone.”
(Brand New)
Nicholas was still chuckling while he bought the tickets from the automated teller in front of us. He let go of my hand so he could grab his wallet from his back pocket, quickly taking my hand again once the tickets had popped out of the machine.
We glided through the turn-styles gracefully, swiping our tickets as we went. It was incredible how differently I moved now. I didn’t notice it much but when doing things I used to struggle with, like walking through turnstiles, it was much more obvious. Our train hadn't arrived yet so we walked down the length of the platform, choosing to stand the farthest away we could get from the humans. Humans? Since when did I--
"I know how hard this must be for you. I wish I could change the way things have turned out." He made a face at the end like something he said didn't sit well with him.
"What?" I asked.
"Hmm...You’re very perceptive, especially for such a young vampire" his voice dropping on the last two words, "I made the face because I haven't had a day like this in the longest time" he explained.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Well, exciting. Don’t misunderstand me. I really do wish that this hadn't happened to you, but I am glad that I was the one to find you and that you are allowing me to help you now." He finished with one of those breathtaking smiles of his.
"Why?" was all I could muster out of the little breath I had left in my body.
"Well, there are a few reasons. The most important, and the one I am the most sure of, is that I feel for you. The monster that did this to you is just that, a monster. I haven't heard of someone being brought into this life like you were in decades. It’s despicable and inexcusable and..." He stopped for a minute, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing, "The other reason is not as easy to explain. From the moment I heard your mind as you ran down the street, I knew that I wanted to know you, in every sense of the word," he paused at this and I was sure I hadn't taken a breath in over a minute, "Charlie I don't know much about you but I plan on learning as much as I can, for as long as you will let me," he finished looking down at me with his soft grey eyes that I was sure could pierce through my unnatural pale skin if he looked for too long.
I suddenly realized that I hadn't taken a breath in at least three minutes. Why wasn't I feeling light headed, and why isn’t my heart racing with the lack of oxygen?
"That’s because your heart doesn't work anymore and you don't need to breathe," he explained as our train pulled up in front of us.
"WHAT?!" I practically screamed. Luckily the arriving train drowned out most of my high pitched exclamation and no one seemed to have noticed my shock. "I don't need to...I cant...how the...what kind of..." I couldn't finish any of those sentences, I couldn’t even talk anymore. I just looked down at my feet as we boarded the train. A few more passengers were in our car as well and were going about their own business. Some were reading newspapers, one was taking a nap, a few of the younger ones were listening to music through their headphones...and then the doors closed.
Suddenly my head was filled with the scent of them. Every single one of these poor unsuspecting people were my victims now. I scanned the room looking for who I would take first. Wait, my brain told me, what are you doing? You’re not a killer, and these people have parents, kids, brothers, sisters, grandkids...you can’t just take that away from them to satiate the monster that is now inside of you. Monster, I realized. That’s really what I am.
I felt Nicholas stand up beside me and start pulling me to the front of the car. I tried to ask him what we were doing but he just shook his head and continued on his mission. We walked between cars and found that the next one was empty. Then we chose seats the furthest away from the door we had come through and sat down.
He finally turned to look at me with regret burned into his eyes "Charlie I’m so sorry I did that to you. I haven't been around a new vampire in so long that I didn't even stop to think..." he paused bringing his smooth white hand up to run it through the dark curly hair on top of his head. The contrast between his hand and hair made the paleness of his skin that much more noticeable. "I should have known that you wouldn't be able to be in a small subway car with all those humans without wanting to feed. Especially since you haven't fed since your changing. The worst part is, I heard what you were thinking, and I know I’m responsible for making you feel that way about yourself. What I need you to know Charlie is that, yes, we are vampires, we won’t ever die and we need blood to live. But what I haven't explained yet is that we don't ever need to kill the humans we feed off of. It’s possible to just take a little blood and hold back before any permanent damage is done to them. I don't want you to feel like a monster Charlie, because you aren't." He finished his speech and looked down at his hands which were folded between his knees. There was so much information that had just been thrown at me; I didn't know what to start processing first. Although there was a lot of information I should be processing, I knew there was only one piece I wanted to...
"I’m sorry," he said for what felt like the twentieth time since I met him. "There is so much you need to learn and come to grips with. It was incredibly selfish of me to just throw my feelings out there for you to have to try to understand as well. Just forget I said anything and let’s just concentrate on you for a while until we have everything straightened out."
I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what TO say. I just stared at him trying to comprehend what he was trying to say to me. He tells me he likes me, but then says I should forget he said it? Does that mean he regrets saying it at all? That he didn't mean it? I felt my heart drop a few notches in my chest and looked down at the little bit of dark blue seat in between us.
Suddenly I felt his hand run softly down the side of my face. Before I had time to react, Nicholas lifted my chin with his fingers forcing me to look in his eyes. Not only had he brought my face up to his, but also closer.
"Charlie, what I told you of my feelings was true, and I meant every word I said. I don't want you to ever forget them, I just didn't think it was right of me to confuse you with anything else today when you still have so much to learn," he explained softly.
I was so close to him that I could feel his sweet breath on my face. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the soft gray of his. Suddenly the look in his eyes changed, from sad and caring, to determined and a little daring. He started to lean closer to me and again I felt my breathing stop, hearing his stop as well. I started to close my eyes, anticipating his lips on mine, when the doors to our car opened to reveal another subway stop full of new passengers waiting to get on.
Nicholas, still holding my face leaned back a little with a confused look etched on his face. Then he turned his head to see the new passengers, boarding the train. He looked back at me with first a look of sadness. Maybe it’s for the lost chance. Then I saw a look of determination. Did that look mean "later"?
He laughed out loud, dropping his hand from my face, as he rose from his seat, and offered the hand back to help me up. We exited the train and Nicholas turned to me, "are you sure that you can’t read minds too?" he asked, still laughing. I looked down at the littered platform trying to make my breathing even again. "Come on Charlie, we have a lot to do, we can always finish this later." I looked up at him to see that smirk on his face again.
Right then and there I decided to stop making this so easy for him. "Yeah we'll see," was my answer and right before I turned away to walk up the stairs that would lead to the city street. Then I saw the first look of uncertainty flit across his face. I gave myself a mental pat on the back and quickly cleared my mind, so he wouldn't be able to see how his words "later" had really affected me.
Nicholas caught up to me then, putting his hand on the small of my back, leading me across the street to a line of popular clothing stores. "Now," he began, "where do you like to shop?" He saw the question in my eyes and answered before I had a chance to ask, "We need to buy you new clothes because you cant go back to your dorm and get new ones. And most importantly because the ones you have on right now are going to have to go.”
I looked up at him, indignation apparent on my face.
"Not like that you perv," he smirked a little and continued, lowering his voice, "we need the clothes you're wearing now so we can fake your death. Obviously they will never find a body," he explained motioning towards me with his hand, while his eyes did a once over of their own, "so we need to leave the clothes that you were last seen in with your blood. Then they will assume you're dead and stop looking for you." He finished and the sadness in his eyes at my current situation was clear. He looked me up and down for the third time today, seemingly to try to decide something.
"What?" I asked finally.
"I’m trying to decide what store to take you to first," he answered simply.
I looked down the long row of stores we were not in front of and walked into the first one I recognized. He followed me as I quickly maneuvered my way around the racks of clothes, making my first stop at the wall lined with jeans. I found a style I liked and proceeded to find my size. I had never been what you would call “skinny”. I would describe it as average or maybe even a little chubby at times. My weight fluctuated a lot but thankfully, I was into my smallest jeans size ever when I was changed.
I shuffled through the piles of jeans looking for my size. Why the hell did they think that the size zeros and ones should be on top?! That had always irritated me beyond belief. I guess it makes sense to someone out there, to make the lives of all the skinny girls in the word easier and everyone else's harder. Like they need any more lucky breaks! They already had the figure that magazines and television tells us is ideal! Why did they--
"I’m sorry to interrupt your little rant Charlie but I simply must disagree with you. I don't think that an ideal size for a girl to be is a zero or a one. I like girls who look normal...and fed. The way this society has portrayed women is degrading to real people. The women of my day..."he began but cut himself off.
"And what day might that have been?" I asked innocently hoping to get some information about him for a change.
"Later." he said. Then when he saw I wasn't going to drop the conversation that easily he added, "and I like the way you look. I think you're perfect."
That did it. I shut right up and continued looking for my size. When I had found a couple of pairs of jeans I liked and were the right size, I set off towards the dressing room to try them on. I found an empty one and walked in locking the door with Nicholas waiting outside.
I slid off the jeans I was wearing and kicked them into a pile in the corner of the tiny room. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, for the reflection I saw there shocked me for the second time today. My body still looked the same, in most aspects, but somehow different. My legs and stomach were smoother somehow. It was as if every flaw I ever had had been erased with my changing. I snapped out of my train of thought and picked up the first pair of jeans in the pile. I slipped them on and looking in the mirror again. They felt comfortable and they fit perfectly. I would get these. Before taking those off I turned my body slightly to check out my butt in them. Typical girl stuff.
I suddenly heard Nicholas' voice from the other side of the door. "Aren't you going to let me see them?" he asked innocently.
Isn’t he supposed to be a mind reader? Shouldn’t he be able to see them in my mind as easily as I do in the mirror?
I heard his laugh from the other side of the door as he answered, "Okay you caught me. I can see them," he continued laughing.
Then it hit me. If he could see what I saw in the mirror when I looked at myself in the new jeans, then that meant he could see what I saw when I didn't have jeans on...
Again I heard his laugh from outside my door, only this time it was louder. Completely embarrassed by my lack of foresight I quickly turned from the mirror to take off my jeans and try on the next few pairs. When I was done, I had decided to get every pair I tried on. I stepped out of the dressing room, shooting him a venomous look. He just looked back innocently with an angelic smile plastered on his gorgeous face.
I turned away from him and began looking for some tops. He followed me as I picked out a few T-shirts and some hooded sweatshirts. When I was done I got in line to pay. Oh crap, I thought, I don't have any money with me. Great, what an idiot, I go shopping and take all this time picking out clothes, and wasting time, when I can’t even--
"Don’t worry about it Charlie, I'll get them for you," he answered my thoughts.
"No I don't want you to have to do that for me. I'll just put them back." I answered as a moved to get off the line. He put his arm out to stop me and turned me back around to face forward on the line.
"Really Charlie, when you have lived as long as I have, money just starts to accumulate. I don't have any problem with buying you new clothes. In fact, it would be my pleasure." I looked back to see that smile of his that made it hard for me to breathe. I smiled back and turned around to face front before I lost all my dignity.
We made it to the front of the line and he paid for my clothes, just like he said he would. When the cashier handed the bag over, Nicholas snatched it before I could. He smiled at me and simply said, "a gentleman always carries a lady's bag.” I just rolled my eyes and made for the exit door.
Once outside, I turned to see him looking down the long row of stores again. "What are you looking for now?" I asked.
"We need to find you some more clothes," he answered.
"Why? I just bought a bunch. I don't need anything else really."
"Yes you do. Come on," he said as he reached for my hand and dragged me into another store.
I stepped in the store and immediately tried to turn back around to leave. Nicholas, who hadn't let go of my hand yet, just pulled me back to him.
"Nicholas, I know you've only known me for an hour or so, but do I really look the type to shop at a place like this?" I asked him, looking around at the fancy clothes surrounding me. I hadn't seen one price tag yet, but I just knew this place had to be expensive.
"I know this isn't how you normally dress, but you are going to need at least a few outfits like this for when we hunt," he explained. He saw the mixed look of confusion and horror on my face and decided to explain himself better. "Charlie, when we hunt, it’s always easier to find victims when we look aesthetically pleasing. Or as your generation would put it, 'hot'." he said, again chuckling at the joke he had just made.
I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just stood there saying nothing, running his explanation through my head. He realized this and decided to take matters into his own hands. He spun me towards a section that I would describe as "clubbing" clothes and started grabbing items off racks. When he had an armful, he led me towards the dressing rooms and handed me the pile.
I walked into the small room silently and began to try things on. I remembered my mistake from earlier and turned my face from the mirror as I undressed. When I had tried on the first outfit I turned towards the mirror. I was wearing a black halter top with sequins sewed on the front in spiral designs. I also had on a tight black mini skirt that was much shorter than anything I would have picked out for myself. I was trying to decide whether I liked it or not when I heard Nicholas from the other side of my door, "I think you look great. Keep it and try on the next outfit."
We continued like that through all the outfits. I would try something on, then turn toward the mirror and hear his response. He liked almost everything I put on. When I was done with everything, I put my old clothes back on, picked up the pile of clothes and exited the dressing room.
He was standing there with his arms wide open. I didn't know what this meant. Did he want to give me a hug? For what? Not that I would mind all that much...
"I was going to carry the clothes for you," he said, not bothering to hide the satisfied smile on his face.
I grimaced and handed them over to him. Then he led me to the shoe section and again picked out a few pairs for me. He sat me down and got on one knee to assist me with trying them on. I’d never been one for blushing when I was human, and I suppose now that I’m dead, I couldn't anyway, but it definitely felt like I would if I could.
He took off my sneakers and my socks and tried on the first pair of shoes. Once they were on and strapped, he helped me up from my sitting position. They were heels, so the difference in our height was much smaller now. I looked up at him, though not as far up as I would normally have had to. I stared into his eyes, seeing a look there that I couldn't quite place.
"Its amazement," he answered my unspoken question.
"For what?" I asked him simply.
"For you. You are completely amazing. I can’t believe how well you are handling everything you have learned today. It’s...amazing," he finished.
"Well the major reason why I have been able to handle this all so well is because I've had you with me all day," I returned, proud of myself for making him be the one to avert his eyes in embarrassment for once. I smiled to myself and sat back down to try the next pair of shoes on.
After we found four pairs of shoes that Nicholas was satisfied with, we made our way to the register to pay for everything. As the cashier rang up each purchase my eyes grew wider and wider with disbelief. The total bill came to over $600. I can’t believe the amount of money this guy who was practically a stranger had just spent on me.
Nicholas didn't need the power of reading my thoughts. He took one look at my face and chuckled. "Really, don't worry about it Charlie. That was nothing, we'll go on a real shopping trip soon," he promised.
I didn't know what to say so I decided to not speak. He paid the cashier with his credit card. After signing the receipt, he grabbed the bags and led me to the exit.
I wasn't going to comment again until the end, but I just wanted to note that I think that Nicholas and Charlie's 'friendship' is moving rather fast. I mean, it can't have been more than a few hours since he found her. Nothing wrong with that, love at first sight perhaps? If so, maybe you should put a little emphasis on that. Perhaps you could just add a little bit here and there where Charlie marvels at the unavoidable pull she feels towards him. After all, she was all about Ryan the night before. Just some suggestions