Don't tell me anything about grammar or spelling unless it's so bad that you just HAVE to point it out beause I've haven't edited it at all.
What I DO want to know is:
What do you think of the character and the plot (well, this is a small excerpt so...)
Thanks, sorry for the long rant but I didnt want people wasting their time concentrating on the technical aspects of this piece. oh and Good luck w/ your nano
--------------------------
Prologue—Change of Plans
I stepped out of the car, the gravel crunching beneath my feet, and followed mother into the familiar house. We were meeting Forlain Faledin, Head of the Ezarian army, in order to discuss our plans for heading back home. I couldn’t sleep last night, instead I stayed up and pondered on the thought of being able to go back home after ten years. I was anxious, scared and excited all at once, a coagulation of emotions surged through me as I held the heavy door handle.
I could feel mother stiffen beside me, she was just as nervous as me. I sighed and opened the large oak door and walked in. Mother followed suite and the door closed with a thud echoing through the empty house. I never knew the reason behind Faledin’s peculiar choice of meeting here, but never dared to question his decision.
Memories of the last time here flooded my brain, the same chill raced up my spine making the hair on the back my neck stiffen. The room was empty except for a large armchair covered by a thick layer of soot, a broken clock, and an old fireplace infested with spider webs.
“Did you bring an extra pair of clothes?” I closed my eyes in order to ease my temper, mother always asked the wrong questions.
“Yes,” I managed to say avoiding further confrontation.
The reason behind her concern was the fact that I was going through a growing phase, officially known as aeodinition. For humans, it’s known as puberty, but since I’m far from being a human, I like to call it “werewolf puberty”. Though I find the term amusing, it is misleading. Unlike “normal” puberty, aeodinition doesn’t involve any growth. On the contrary it’s a phase a young werewolf is first exposed to metamorphosis.
Analogous to walking and talking, it takes a while to master and is marked by random transformations triggered by any rush of emotion. Yesterday, when mother told me we were visiting Faledin, trying her hardest not to show any emotion, I was so excited, I changed in the middle of kitchen. Mother had to lock me up in my room, because a werewolf in aeodinition acts on first instinct rather than rational thought.
I walked through the room, my steps imprinted into he floor due to the thin layer of dust covering the floor, and stopped to gaze out of the broken window. Mother’s feet were locked in place and she was lost in thought, she was scared, I could tell. Faledin promised to bring my father as well, it’s been over a year since I saw him.
Minutes transpired into hours and there was no sign of the old fairy. I started becoming more and more agitated. My mother noticing this gave me a glare roughly translating as: if you change right now, I will murder you.
“I won’t, don’t worry,” I assured. Usually, a fast heartbeat and sweaty palms mark a transformation. It’s like having a fever.
The door flew open and entered a very tired looking man. The door closed behind him and he silently walked past mother without uttering a word. He had long, silky, white hair coupled with those common silvery, gray eyes. Nevertheless, no one would believe he was at least 200 years old. He opened his large cloak to reveal a glass jar filled with what seemed like tiny fireflies. He released the tiny animals? Into the fireplace illuminating part of the large hall. The fireplace emitted a crackling sound amplified by the large room. He finally turned his attention to us; the yellow glow from the fireplace reflected his pale skin.
“Where is father?” I asked immediately irritated by his silence.
“Shane! You’ve grown into a strapping young lad, I must say,” he commented glancing at mother who forced a smile.
“Answer my question Faledin,”
Going through aeodinition was definitely messing with my head because normally, I’d never address Faledin with such disrespect. His hands disappeared into his clock and emerged with three small stools, he threw them onto the ground and they grew to full size. My eyes widened in surprise, it wasn’t uncommon but I’ve been away from magic for so long that it seemed out of the ordinary. He took a seat and shifted his gaze towards me again.
“Take a seat,” he offered. I desperately wanted to refuse but decided it wouldn’t benefit. I plopped down, elbows on knees, and leaned forward waiting for his reply.
“Your father couldn’t come and offers his sincere apologies. There was a brutal attack by Blacksmore’s army and he had to rally the troops.” I could feel mother shift uncomfortably on the stool.
“Work comes first,” mother said. “No bother, when do we leave? What’s the plan?” the euphoria of being able to leave lifted my damp spirits.
“You’re not leaving,” This time the old cook went too far. I jumped out of my seat and felt my heart beat accelerate but I didn’t care.
“What?!” I bellowed, my voice filled the empty living room. The fire crackling in the background became louder. Faledin turned to the fire place.
“Shush!” he exclaimed. He turned to me, eyes narrowed,.
“Sit,” his voice was stern and I didn’t argue.
“You can’t leave today.” He started. “The Rubins need all the protection they can get, especially since…” his voice trailed off.
“Since what?” mother asked.
“Since, Lisa Rubin is the next Seer,” An eerie silence ensued for a good five minutes. I refused to submit, I don’t care if Lisa is a Seer, I still wanted to go home. Sometimes, being selfish isn’t a bad thing.
“So, send Aiden in, he’s the expert on Seers” I retorted.
“He can’t protect her from the enemy,”
“I don’t care! I AM NOT GOING BACK TO LITTLETON!” I bellowed.
The walls shook from my fury as I felt the blood rushing to my head as I sprung from the stool. I felt light headed and could hear the sound of my accelerating heartbeat ringing in my ears. I could feel my throat going dry as I sunk to the ground. Faledin sprung to action and placed a hand on my shoulder, his cool touch irritated my hot skin and I brushed it off. He placed it on the same spot again and started muttering incoherently. I felt dizzy and my vision started blurring. And then, everything went black.
------
*Gulp* Comments, anyone?
*night
