Unknown Story Chap. 10 part 1

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~Chapter Ten~

Journey




Knall jerked up and looked around, seeing how much darker it was. He looked out of the massive window and saw a silver-grey moon shimmering in the dark. It was a cloudless night and the stars lit up Knall’s room all by themselves. Knall stood and held his head as his vision clouded.

It soon cleared and he walked over to the door. It dissolved and he stepped through it. The door materialized behind him and he was left alone in the curving hallway. “Shame Rezlel didn’t mention where the bathroom was.” Knall decided to go left and found another door.

It wouldn’t dissolve and had no knob so Knall sleepily went to the next door. All seemed to not open and he found the door on the inside of the hallway. It dematerialized and Knall stepped in. He pressed his hand on the wall next to the door and the room shook softly.

He heard a soft hum and soon the room stopped shuddering. The door bust into pieces and he stepped through them. The moon shone through the windows as Knall walked through the hallway. His feet made an awkward slapping sound on the spotless metal floor. He opened every door he came across but if they weren’t locked they were not the room Knall was looking for. Knall eventually made it down to the last door on the last floor and approached it. It dissolved and inside was an empty room, slightly larger than Knall’s. He walked in a step and gazed into the room. He stood there for a few moments and exited the room.

Knall wandered a few more moments and found a door larger than all the others. It was only slightly larger than the rest but seemed mysterious. He walked up to it and placed his hand on the center. “.” His hand glowed bright and a crease shone down the center of the door. It split open and Knall walked through. There were two large staircases to either side of Knall and both led down to a large area in the middle of the room. This was no ordinary room. There were four pillars placed symmetrically around the center. Each had a single sign of casting on it in smooth, elegant letters. Translated, each symbol, in order, was R, D, M, and K.

Past the lettered pillars, Knall saw a massive door. It stretched as high as the ceiling and had no knob or hinges. There were six humongous chains, originating from the edge of the door, each meeting in the center. Locking them all into place was a lock, larger than a full grown Shade.

Knall pointed at it and said, “.” A white light burst from within the keyhole and it fell off. It hit the metal ground hard and made a loud echo through the hall. Knall approached the door, completely ignoring the lock. He pushed on the door and the chains slithered off and fell to the ground next to the lock.

As the door swung open moonlight spilled into the hall and made the letters on the pillars glow brightly. They reflected off the floor and onto the wall opposite the door. Knall turned back to the open door and saw a huge field of short grass. The wind made it ripple and even further in the distance, there was a shimmering river. He saw it curve out from behind the tower and stretch into the distance.

Knall peered even further into the distance and saw a dark figure limping to the tower. What should I do? It’s getting closer! The figure did seem to be moving fairly quick and before Knall could think of what to do he could make out its specific features.

It was wearing a blue cloak so dark it was nearly black. The rest was obscured by the cloak expect for its black boots. It was carrying a dirty pack and kept its face down. Knall could tell it had long, black hair that was extremely unkempt and untidy. The hair swirled in the wind and Knall caught a glimpse of the thing’s facial features.

Other than being able to see that it was a human man he couldn’t see much else. As it approached he pulled up his hood and his face was completely hidden. Knall stood stunned, until it was right on the doorstep. The man slung off his pack and handed it to Knall. He was very tall but crouched over. He met Knall’s chin but if he was standing he might make it up to his eyes.

Knall took the pack and watched the man limp inside. He took his eyes off the man for a second and opened the pack. Before he could make out what was inside the man spoke, “Look in that and I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you.” His voice was soft but seemed to have been put under much strain lately. Knall looked at the man’s back confused and turned to close the door. It shut with a loud slam and before Knall could do anything about the chains and lock they began to climb back up and reattach themselves.

Knall turned back to look at the man who had just put his hand back down to his side. Knall ran to catch up with the man who had just begun to climb one of the stairs. “Sir! I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I haven’t been here very long but I can tell the people here don’t enjoy visitors.” The man gave out a coarse laugh and stopped.

“No, no they don’t.” He continued to climb the stairs until Knall stepped in front of him.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go further.”

The man peered at Knall from under the hood and Knall felt stunned. The man motioned back. “I believe you forgot my pack.” Somehow not wanting the disrespect the man Knall felt impelled to retrieve the stranger’s bag. He counteracted with the magic welling up inside his body and stood his ground. The man laughed once and said, “Come inside, will you?”

He walked up the rest of the stairs and pointed behind himself to the bag. It flew across the hall and into his hand. Knall followed closely, not having any idea what was going on. At the top of the stairs there was a regular wooden door with a silver knob in the shape of tear, the round side facing out.

The man reached out one slim, elegant hand and twisted the beautiful knob. The door was pulled back without a sound and the man entered the room first. Inside was a dark room with a burning fire across from the door. There was a couch on the left wall and a desk on the other wall, facing the couch. On either side of the fireplace were two bookshelves stacked high with different books. There was also a glass cabinet in the right corner of the room with fat, tall, short, and thin multicolored bottles stored there.

The man dumped his pack on the floor next to the door and motioned for Knall to sit at the couch. It was comfortable even though it looked old and hard. The man approached the fireplace and whipped off his hood. His back was to Knall as he took off the entire cloak. Dark blue armor gleamed in the fire light. He wore a chest plate, grieves, leggings and boots. He stripped all these off, revealing a dark blue shirt and black pants. He rolled his pants over his dark blue boots and stood again.

This time he faced Knall. He had long dark brown hair that was extremely messy. It looked fine with his handsome face, however. He was thin, almost gaunt but like he had not had meal in a very long time. He wore a black belt that was covered by his shirt but a scabbard protruded from under the shirt that was tied to his belt. Only a black hilt with a red, sphere jewel at the pummel was visible.

He limped over to the cabinet in the corner and opened it with a wave of his hand. Three bottles flew out and placed themselves on the desk. One was tall and deep green. Another was an averaged sized bottle that was black and the last was short, thin bottle that was clear but had blue liquid sloshing around inside. The man moved his fingers in complicated motions and a drawer of the desk burst open to reveal two, short crystal glasses. They flew onto the desk and carried a mixture of the three liquids that were poured into them.

The man sat at his desk and pointed at Knall. A glass flew towards him without spilling a drop and halted in front of his face. He reached up to grasp it and held it to his side. The man took a sip and then Knall thought it safe to take a drink as well. The combined liquids made a sweet yet strong taste. Once he had drained his glass the man turned too looked at Knall.

“Knall, I admire you’re desire to protect you’re new home, but… Do you know who I am?” Knall shook his head. The man laughed again.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll find out tomorrow. Goodnight.” He stood and Knall felt like he should to. He gently helped Knall out of the room. “Oh, and check that empty room again. You might find a bathroom.” He closed the door and Knall walked down the stairs.

He exited the door he had come through and walked down the hallway. He stopped at the door of the empty room and rested his hand on the knob. He twisted it gently and swung open the door slowly. Inside was a brightly lit bathroom with marble sinks and marble counters. Everything was spotless and shining. He stepped inside and smiled.


~*~*~


Khor awoke to the view of the sun shining through the rustling leaves of a summer tree. He put his hands behind his head and stared at the soft light. He turned over to look at Vathen. His pack was resting where he was last night. The fire was damp and there were no signs that either of them were ever there.

Khor stood and brushed leaves off of his cloak. He inhaled the warm summer air and let it fill up his lungs. He packed up his things and slung his pack over his arms. Khor fought through branches and tripped over roots until he came to an opening. He found Vathen standing in the center, with a blue bird perched on his fingers. His back was to Khor but ha said, “Ah, Khor, I thought you wouldn’t be up for another forty five minutes.”

Khor frowned and replied, “Come on, let’s go, to… wherever we’re going.” Vathen allowed the bird to fly away and they came back to their camp. Vathen picked up his things and said, “.” The remnants of the fire disintegrated and flew away in a storm of ash. Vathen nodded and began to walk.


“So, now will you tell me where we’re going?” After several hours of walking. The woods were beginning to disappear and they were now walking in an open field.

“We are currently traveling to a city called Xeras. It has not been called that for a very long time and I doubt you’ll find that name in any memory or history book.”

“Oh, yea! Xeras, I remember one of my classes at the Academy. They said it used to be the capital for the Shades until men drove them into the mountains. Now its one of the most technologically advanced cities on earth.”

“Yes, now most locals and foreigners call it The Last City.” Khor nodded.

“But, this isn’t our final destination, is it?” Vathen shook his head in response and Khor sighed. The two continued to walk until the afternoon when they found an acceptable spot to set up camp. There were a few trees around and Khor tied a large blanket to one of the trees and spread out the other ends. He set up his blanket and pack underneath it. Vathen stifled a laugh and passed it off as a cough at Khor’s ability to make camp. “Just to let you now, in the morning when you remove the blanket, you’ll have to spread leaves out in the empty spot so no one sees the random blank spot where no leaves have fallen.”

Khor barely slept the entire night. He lay awake, staring at the stars winking down at him from so far above. He turned and saw the smoldering fire, its embers glowing brightly from the charred pieces of wood. He looked over at where Vathen was supposed to be sleeping. His blanket was out but he was nowhere to be found.

Khor stood and grouped around for his boots. When he pulled them on he stood straight and looked around. He saw a disturbance in the way the leaves on the bushes where pointed. Some where pointed away but the rest were all facing down. Khor followed them at an angle until he came to a small clearing where the tracks ended.

Vathen was sitting cross legged and was holding his hands in a complicated pose. His hands shifted suddenly and a small gust of wind drew towards Vathen. Vathen continued to shift poses with his left hand while he drew out complicated shapes in the air. A stream of yellow light followed his hand as he stroked the air like it was an empty canvas.

Khor silently dropped to his belly and peered at Vathen from under the leaves of a bush. Vathen continued to sketch out shapes that faded a few seconds after Vathen streaked across the spot. At last Vathen returned to his original hand pose and said, “.”

The final product of Vathen’s work flashed in yellow light. The strokes were now clearly visible and were streaked across at random places. It somehow looked beautiful and dark at the same time. Wind rushed towards the spot where Vathen was sitting. The strokes flashed brightly one last time and was so bright Khor closed his eyes.

When he opened them, the air painting disappeared. Vathen stood and looked directly at Khor. “Come out Khor, I was going to have to tell you about it some time.” Khor came out of his hiding place and approached Vathen.

“What were you doing? And why did you have to do it in the dead of night?”

“I was experimenting. It will take time to explain and time to understand.” Khor looked at him expectedly, “Very well. You know of the Favthom?” Khor nodded and Vathen continued, “Magic is enhanced with hand gestures and symbols. I believe if we master a certain pattern to theses hand signs, a new area of magic possibility opens.”
Khor thought on this. It makes sense. The Favthom does enhance magical abilities. Why shouldn’t other signs?

“I don’t expect you to understand. I only ask you to not speak of this to anyone. It is still in the development stage. It could be dangerous if we treat this knowledge with disregard. There is something else. It takes complete mastery of magic. Not even I have managed to complete that step. Please do not attempt to try this new method of casting.” Khor nodded. Again, it made sense. If I don’t know what I’m doing there’s a good chance I’ll just end up hurt.

Vathen returned to camp and Khor followed. Vathen did not lie as Khor did, but leaned against a tree and intensely gazed into the embers. Khor ignored him and pulled off his boots. He curled up in the blanket. The event somehow made him extremely tired.


In the morning Khor awoke to the faint smell of smoke. It seemed the fire coughed up its last string of smoke and the wind blew it Khor’s way. Khor got up grudgingly and changed his shirt, pants and jacket. He tied Melden to his belt and pulled on his boots.

He packed up his things and stored them all in his pack. Vathen pushed his way out of a few bushes. “Ready?” Khor nodded and Vathen grasped his pack. They started off into a vast field with a small rounded hill. “So, how close are we to The Last City?”

“About two days walk. I plan on supplying us with more suitable means of transportation.” Khor nodded to show he understood and they continued walking. It was very silent the entire time. Khor and Vathen were silent throughout the entire time. Vathen finally found an acceptable resting spot at dusk.

Khor went off to find fire wood while Vathen set up his and Khor’s sleeping area. Khor pushed through branches and grouped around on the floor to find pieces of dry wood. When he found several pieces he decided he could pick up the rest on his way back to camp.

When he returned he dumped his load on the ground in between both there sleeping areas. Vathen had found a spot near the edge of a cliff. If you sat on the cliff on a bright night, the moon was set out in front of you. Once Vathen had gotten the fire going Khor walked up to the edge of the cliff. He looked down and saw nothing but darkness. He looked up and saw a full, brightly shining moon.

He sat down with his legs dangling over the edge and gazed at it. He heard the crackle of the fire behind and the quiet darkness in front. He closed his eyes and felt a soft breeze on his face. He smiled and stood…
I used to rule the world, see it rise when I gave the word, now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own

-Coldplay, Viva La Viva




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When he returned he dumped his load on the ground in between both there (their) sleeping areas. Vathen had found a spot near the edge of a cliff. If you sat on the cliff on a bright night, the moon was set out in front of you. (that sentance doesn't make sense) Once Vathen had gotten the fire going Khor walked up to the edge of the cliff. He looked down and saw nothing but darkness. He looked up and saw a full, brightly shining moon.


Cool...that's the only thing I found, very good job! So you need a name for your story. Well I don't know the whole story but I'll do my best to think up something.

-greenboy
the greenjay strikes again...




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Better. :D

You want a title? I'll try to think of one for ya!
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir




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Hmm. I like this, you have some good action and the plot is still advancing well but you need more detailed description and you need to be careful to read through your work before you post. Some suggestions -

Somehow not wanting [s]the[/s] to disrespect the man Knall felt impelled to retrieve the stranger’s bag.

At the top of the stairs there was a regular wooden door with a silver knob in the shape of a tear, the round side facing out.

The man dumped his pack on the floor next to the door and motioned for Knall to sit [s]at[/s] on the couch.

He was thin, almost gaunt but like he had not had a meal in a very long time.

Only a black hilt with a red, [s]sphere[/s] spherical jewel at the pummel was visible.

Another was an average[s]d[/s] sized bottle that was black and the last was a short, thin bottle that was clear but had blue liquid sloshing around inside.

Once he had drained his glass the man turned [s]too[/s] and looked at Knall.

“Knall, I admire [s]you’re[/s] your desire to protect [s]you’re[/s] your new home, but… Do you know who I am?”

He stood and Knall felt like he should too.

His back was to Khor but [s]ha[/s] he said, “Ah, Khor, I thought you wouldn’t be up for another forty five minutes.”

“So, now will you tell me where we’re going?” Khor asked after several hours of walking.

Khor stood and [s]grouped[/s] groped around for his boots. When he pulled them on he stood up straight and looked around. He saw a disturbance in the way the leaves on the bushes [s]where[/s] were pointed. Some [s]where[/s] were pointed away but the rest were all facing down.

The strokes flashed brightly one last time and [s]was[/s] were so bright Khor closed his eyes.

I believe if we master a certain pattern to these[s]s[/s] hand signs, a new area of magic possibility opens.”

It was very silent the entire time. Khor and Vathen were silent throughout the entire time. [Repetitive and could be phrased better. Why not just say, 'Khor and Vathen walked in silence.']

Khor pushed through branches and [s]grouped[/s] groped around on the floor to find pieces of dry wood.

Overall, it needs tidying up but I do like it and it is very interesting. More characterization and description please!
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.



Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.
— Albus Dumbledore