I have redone this story so many times... still trying to find the right one. Comments greatly appreciated. Love you all. (:
Just because there were no metal bars, didn’t mean it wasn’t jail. We were held off from living our own lives; trapped on this tedious planet until we graduated, until we were seen as ‘fully grown.’ And then we would be ‘hatched.’
Our metamorphosis was long and drawn out, not like the short process of our relatives, the butterfly. No, we were not insects, we were somewhat human, but my ancestors coveted the butterfly, for it was the most beautiful species on our beautiful planet. When they flew, their bread shaped wings fluttered and left behind a trail of glitter, just floating it the air. My people use the glitter for medicine, spices, and comfort. It is said that if you capture some and let it go over your bed, you will never have a nightmare again.
But I don’t believe any of it. My planet is not a beautiful thing. It may look as spectacular as our red sun, and feel as wonderful as when a butterfly rests on your shoulder, but it was a horrible place. We were created for one reason: war.
Papillion
“This is it, the moment of truth. Are you ready?”
“Of course, Master.”
“You’re ready to meet Einar?”
I looked at him with my deep red eyes, the color of blood when it first escapes your body. Every other female trainer that I have met feared me because of my bloodshot eyes. They were lucky I couldn’t hurt them, because I was the strongest of our kind. Rainer, my master, told me that I was even better than the males. I was the epitome of a Papillion warrior, ready to take on the Antimite.
There was just one thing stopping me: I had to find my partner. At the last stage of the metamorphosis, all eighteen year old trainers were unleashed into the Papillion forest. We stayed there, day and night, maybe even weeks, until we have scavenged all fifty acres and found our partner. I, being the strongest, was the one everyone would be waiting for. I could not let my master and the Council down.
“Einar,” I whispered. “I like that name.”
“You better. You will have to hear it for the rest of your life.” Rainer smiled his old grin, which conjured even more wrinkles than he already had.
“Why aren’t you with him?” I said with a hiss in my voice. If Einar wasn’t second strongest on the planet, I would kill him and face the Antimite on my own.
“Because he doesn’t need my emotional support. He is much more mature than you are.”
“What?” I showed my menacing teeth and stood up straight, towering over Rainer by at least a foot.
“His mind is stronger than yours. But that doesn’t mean he’s better than you. It just means you two are the perfect warriors… together.” Rainer raised one black eye brown and grinned sheepishly at me.
“Rainer, I wish I could tell you to shut up,” I soon changed my defensive stance to an affectionate hug. “But I respect you far too much.”
Rainer nodded and hugged me back.
“Ahh!” he pushed me away and started licking his fingers, which were steaming.
“Oh! I am so sorry, I keep forgetting. I can’t touch people.”
I started to shake my hands, trying to fan his, but he backed away. “You’re just blowing warm air…”
“I hate not being able to touch anyone. How come I’m the only one?” I whined.
“Because you are the first Fire in over a hundred years. You should be proud.”
He smiled his brilliant blue eyes at me. For some reason, his eyes were different than any other Paillian. They were bright and full of love, but ours were cold. And he was much shorter than me-and I was still growing. Something was so different about him…
Then the alarm sounded, and the door to my hovercraft opened. I quickly reminded Rainer how to use it-he had never learned. For some reason the older Masters liked to keep to the traditional ways, instead of resulting to the new technology. But, I wouldn’t trade Rainer for anything.
Trainers were isolated from each other for the metamorphosis. The only time we could see each other was at meal time, and even then, the males ate in a different room than females. So Rainer was my only friend.
“Good luck. He’s smart, if you get lost, let him find you.” Rainer turned on the craft and lifted it off the ground.
“I will find him,” I shouted as he flew away. He extended a red hand out the window and waved to me.
I sat down for a moment and looked around. The forest was filled with dangers, and other trainers. And it was not against the rules to fight with each other. Actually, it was expected. Weaker trainers often wanted to prove themselves by taking down someone else. And because I was the strongest in my year, I was a huge target.
Ha, I thought. Like anyone can defeat me.
I rose and extended a hand.
“Poussier,” I whispered. My tongue rolled perfectly, and I knew at that instant I had said it correctly. A second later, my hand was blazing with fire. I waved my arms in the shape of a sword, and it was created in front of me; an all black blade, glowing with fire embers. A perfect summoning, Rainer would be proud.
I ran off to the first opening in the wild bush and trees I could, out of my safe-zone, and into the biggest danger I have even been in. And I was excited.
Your main character is female right? Just checking
Other than those mistakes I was hard pressed to find any grammar errors. I give you a
