Inspired by Cain and Abel. It probably sucks because i haven't edited it yet...oh well
Cain's Redemption
By Nick Neuhoff
Chapter 1
Most Christians will know my story, as well as the Jews, and maybe the Islamic, but I’m really getting off topic. Anyway, if for once in your pitiful meaningless life you have picked up in what many call the Holy Bible, you will hear my story. Let’s see, it is Genesis 3.4, you know, the story of Cain. If you don’t know my story, let me enlighten you, this is my story, from the beginning, in the Bible itself:
Now the man knew his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying “I have produced a man with the help of the lord. Next she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. In course time, Cain brought to the Lord an offering of fruit of the ground and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offerings but for Cain and his offerings he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain “why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”
Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain “Where is your brother Abel?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” And the Lord said “What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth and received your brother’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer of the earth.” Cain said to the Lord “My punishment is greater than I can bear! Today you have driven me away from the soil, and I shall be hidden from your face; I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and anyone who meets may kill me.” Then the Lord said to him “Not so! Whoever kills Cain will suffer a seven-fold vengeance.” And the Lord put a mark on Cain, so no one who came upon himself would kill him. Then Cain left the presence of the Lord and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
See, I am this Cain written about in this bible, I killed my brother Abel. If you kept reading you would learn that I would lay with my wife and bore a son named Enoch, the name was her idea. But you hear that everyone else in Genesis died but where am I on that list? See those people who wrote the bible forgot something, something, rather important. It reminds me of a saying one of my many teachers taught me, that history is someone’s written perspective of past events. Because no one was their other than Abel and the Lord and I, no else could tell the story better than I can. See although it is true God put a mark on me and made roam the earth forever, he made it so I couldn’t die period. Spear, pike, cannon, bullet, bomb, shell, blade, age whatever, I can’t be killed. I was eighteen when those events took place, now forever I’m eighteen. I have wandered the earth for the last 2 million years. I’ve seen it all, Greek Empire, Roman Empire, Dark Ages, Crusades, King Arthur, Black Plague, Discovery of America, all of it. I fought in the Peloponnesian War with the Spartans, the Crusades, American revolution, War of 1812, Mexican War, Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, Vietnam, all of it. I’ve seen it all, Atoms splitting, Cold War, The USSR vs. The United States in the Olympics, Watergate, everything but you get the point. It is now 2007, but I first have to tell you this story, when the Lord first saw something useful in me.
Berlin April 30th 1945, the time Hitler committed suicide, or so the historians think. I was there, Berlin was almost in ruins, I was a US soldier, when the Reds went on their rampage of murder, stealing and rape. I went searching for the man who massacred my people, the Jews. I walked past the rubble of buildings, Springfield in hand, in case of those last few Nazi nutcases with snipers. I passed a buildings where the Reds were looting, I could hear screams coming from the buildings top floor, a girl’s, the Reds where having a little bit of fun. I thought about during the Liberation of Paris, that a friend of mine who was sent to the Pacific to Iwo Jima, he told me that “any man who doesn’t get laid by a hot French bird, is probably the ugliest soldier on the planet.” I got many girls asking me, but I turned them all down, they would see my mark, I didn’t want that. Anyway I found what I was looking for, the Reich’s Chancellery. It was in pretty bad shape, half of the roof was gone, bullet holes decorated the wall and next to it a pile of Nazi helmets, with holes in them. A lone Nazi SS officer came out of the building, he saw me and took out his Mauser M 96 or Red9, a funny looking German Pistol. He pointed it at me.
“To hell with you American!” he yelled in Nazi officer. And he shot me in the stomach. I was blown back but I did not feel death come over me, instead, I got up, without a pain in my body. “That is not possible…you should be dead.” He said dropping his pistol, I looked down at my chest to see a hole in it, then the hole grew smaller and smaller until it was gone. I walked up to the SS officer and pointed my sniper at his head.
“Say hi to Satan for me, it’s been a while since we met.” I pulled the trigger. With a terrific bang, the SS officer’s head cracked back, his brains flew out the other side and he fell on his back dead. I bent down and picked up his Red9 and put on the gloves he was wearing that were covered in his blood. I walked over the dead SS officer and left my sniper and walked into the building. I found a bombed out staircase and went down it until I arrived at a floor with the German words “Bomb Shelter.” I kicked it in and jumped in pistol in hand. I saw the man the killed millions, Adolf Hitler dressed in his uniform and his crazy but beautiful wife, Eva Baun dressed in a gown, a wedding gown. Both of them looked at me in surprise. I pointed my pistol at Hitler.
“Hitler,” I said in German. I lived on earth for over 2 million years. I have learned every language that ever existed. “you don’t know me but I know you, very well. My name is Cain and I’m a Jew. A very mad, vengeful Jew.” Hitler took out a Red9 and shot me in the head.
“You dirty, Jew, no underling addresses me like that, especially an American soldier who is a Jew.” The shot did hurt a little and I fell over on my back. I heard Hitler laugh and his wife put her hands on her mouth. I picked myself up and the hole in my head grew smaller. Hitler looked at me in disbelief. The bullet popped out of my head and I caught it. I tossed it in the air over and over again.
“How?” Hitler said sinking back “You should be dead.” I pointed his pistol at me. His entire arm was shaking. Eva crept back.
“It takes more than a Red9 shot to kill me,” he shot and shot at me. All of the bullets went into my body but didn’t hurt me at all. He kept firing until his magazine ran out of bullets.
“Aw,” I said slyly “that’s a shame…I still have a full magazine.” I pulled out the Red9 and pointed it at Hitler. He kept backing up until he it a wall.
“You are not from this earth…you are a demon…” he said frightened.
“Actually, as you know, my name is Cain as in Abel and Cain. I can not be killed.” I smiled as I pointed the gun straight at his head. Then someone threw a cinderblock at me. It bounced of my head leaving a nasty scratch that would kill a mortal. I looked over and saw Eva, throwing whatever she could throw at me. I pointed it at her.
“You once said to this murderer ‘From our first meeting I swore to follow you anywhere-even unto death-I live only for your love.” I cocked the pistol “Even unto death.” I pulled the trigger. Her body fell do the ground in a heap. I put the pistol back on Hitler’s head. He was red with anger.
“I wish all the Jews you killed would just bust through the wall and drag you into hell but I have a more bloody way of entering the gates of hell.” I cocked the hammer back “Heil Hitler.” I pulled the trigger. I killed the man who killed thousands of Jews. I wish I could tell you how it felt, to be a Jew and to pull the trigger on the most maniacal man on the planet. It was…very fun. I picked up the hand of Hitler and placed the pistol in his hand, to cover it up with his fingerprints so it would look suicidal. I walked up to the stairs leading out of the bunker. I took out a grenade out of my military pack and tossed it in. I casually climbed out of the bunker and closed the trapdoor. As I walked away from the bunker, I heard a muffled explosion. I walked out of the building and back into the streets of destroyed Berlin. Two red soldiers walked up to me. One was holding a wine bottle and dreadfully drunk. The other was holding a struggling German girl with blonde hair and a tattered dress.
“Hey,” one said in English with a Russian accent “you look depressed American. I saved her for you, care to…how do you say…give her the time?” I looked at the girl, she was pretty hot, but I shook my head.
“Oh come on you guys let her go. She has seen hell already,” the Russian holding her let her go and like a bolt of lighting, she took off.
“Ah you crazy Americans…” the soldier said staring at the girl as she ran off “your one chance to…how do you say…get laid and you chose not to.”
“Well,” I said a little angry “I guess my values greatly exceed my temptations.”
The Russian soldier jumped back throwing his arms in the air. “Oh, ho, are you really that pure? Are you too pure for a drink? My treat!”
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in the middle of a bombed out city, you don’t have to pay for anything!” The soldier smiled at me.
“Exactly!”
