The Never Ending Story 1

Harry Potter

"Voldemort! Prepare to meet your doom!" harry screeched. Voldie waved his wand with avada-cadabra. Harry fell.

Ginny Weasly

"No, Harry!" Ginny screamed running to her beloveds side, she stroked his messy black hair. "Harry? Harry wake up" But his eyes would not open for her, no matter how hard she tried to wake him.
Ginny stared into the merciless, blank eyes of Voldemort. "What have you done to him?" She whispered, salty tears landing on Harry's face. Suddenly a Harry Potter fan rushed up and pulled her away by the hair.
"He's mine!" The fan cackled, her eyes wide with craziness.

Edward Cullen

Edward jumped out of the bushes he had been sulking inside with a flurry of leaves, swinging his head menacingly while baring his teeth at the wizards that had disturbed his nap. It was a nice nap, too.
Lucky for Eddie, it was a blazing hot day. Seeing this to his advantage, Edward ripped his shirt open. After quite some yanking, he gave up and procceded to unbutton his blazer carefully, button by button. Then, in a blinding flash of glitterly light, he blasted the dumbstruck HPers before him in all of his pure manliness.

Awaking from his slumber, the curtain ninja surrounded edward in one fell swoop but the... HPers were already blinded. So the ninja let him loose again as curtains don't have eyes so he was safe. As the HPers rolled around on the floor (why they'd turned into wheels is anyone's guess) Voldermort turned back into Ralph Fienes and Justin Bieber...sadly stayed the same. It was time for a stand off: Bieber Vs. Cullen. But who would step up to the plate and write such a dual?

Justin Beiber

This wasn't fair. HP fans? In my building? My head throbbed in nuisance. Now I have the reason to hate that Roar-ling.

I managed to stand up, holding my head. But when I faced the open door of the bathroom, I saw my forehead in the reflection the tiles made; it was marked with a lightning. And it seemed like the scar would be staying.

Frustrated with the thoughts of having to spend thousands of dollars to have my fake flawless forehead back, I turned around. But I gasped at what I saw: There before me, a--a--vampire, glistening like silver in the bright rays of the sun.

"You! Where you the one who dared to wake me in my slumber?" he asked, his voice calm but baleful.

The crowd before us cheered--ninjas, HPers, Harry Potter himself, and Voldemort. "Yes!" they cheered.

Liars.

"Fight! Fight!" The chant almost deafened my ears.

The vampire slowly lowered his chin. His knees bent slightly, as if he was to jump on me and suck my blood till I died.

I gulped.

"Silence!" Harry screamed. The crowd conceded. "I will not allow a brutal fight." He threw each of us contenders a broomstick. "This may be settled in a game of--Quidditch!"

The crowd's cheers shook the whole building. Was he crazy? None of us were wizards!

Dumbledore

Albus Dumbledore peered around at the hordes of screaming girls and sighed to himself. He'd taken a day off from Hogwarts - just one day, for Merlin's sake - to get the autograph of Justin Bieber, who's music he enjoyed rocking out to with Fawkes and McGonnagall, and he'd ended up stuck in a huge crowd of hysterical teenagers. The temptation to stupify them had been great, but he'd managed to resist.

Now, things had gone from bad to worse. In a mystifying turn of events Justin Bieber had been chosen by Voldemort as his next mortal enemy, a glistening vampire was pouting at Justin, and Harry Potter had been killed by Voldemort only to rise again and suggest a one on one game of Quidditch. It was really most tiring.

"SILENCE!" He roared and strode forward, stepping of Ginny who was curled up weeping on the floor. The screaming fans paused and turned to him, blinking with confusion.

Voldemort hissed and twitched his nostrils. "Dumbledore. I should have known you'd turn up and start meddling."

"Dumblewho?" Justin asked, flipping his fringe in confusion. "I want my manager."

"Don't you worry, lad," Dumbledore said, patting Justin on the shoulder. "This flat nosed gentleman here is the most evil wizard the world has ever seen, and it is your duty to either kill him or be killed by him. But we'll sort it all out."

Voldemort twitched his want and a black broomstick appeared out of thin air. Instead of sticks it had baby snakes, and the wood was twisted, gnarled and spiky. Voldemort frowned and twitched his wand again, and a black velvet cushion appeared on the broom. He bared his teeth in satisfaction. "Are you ready to play quidditch, Bieber? I must warn you, I was captain of Slytherin house team for four years running."

Justin's mouth hung open in confusion. He clutched at Dumbledore's arm and held on tightly like a petrified squirrel. Dumbledore frowned. "Not so fast, Voldemort. Justin has never been on a broomstick. We need to even this competition out. It will be a contest in two parts - firstly a quidditch match, and secondly a sing off."

"Sounds like a plan!" Harry was grinning widely. "You know, that sounds great. As a former Chosen one and someone who is pretty amazing at flying, I'll be judge."

Dumbledore swished his wand in the air and a scoreboard appeared and hung in the air. "LET THE CHALLENGES BEGIN!" he roared.

Harry

The two took off. Beiber couldn't get up, the stupid, pathetic, fame-stealer he is. Voldimort was just watching him spaz.

''Amateurs." I mumbled to Ginny, who chuckled.

"KILL EACH OTHER! Come one!" A fan yelled. Voldie became outraged at this lack of a challenge.

"Foul! Foul!" I yelped as he broke the broom in two. It was a firebolt!

"SILENCE!" Dumbly-dore screamed out of nowhere.

"Thank you Albus. Voldie is disqualified. Beiber wins part one!!" I shrieked.

Dumbledore

"Yesss!" Justin said, clenching his fist. A nearby gaggle of girls giggled and whispered to each other. He winked, and they collapsed in a heap. Harry frowned, and then turned and kissed Ginny passionately, making loud smacking noises. He turned to see Justin's reaction, took a deep breath and then continued kissing.

Potter!" Voldemort spat furiously. "You may not be the chosen one anymore, but I'm going to kill you anyway. I'd forgotten what an annoying brat you were."

"Shut it, Voldemort! Just because you're a LOSER!" Harry yelled triumphantly. Voldemort growled in anger and started to stride towards Harry.

"Alright, alright! No one is going to die right now," I said sternly. "First, you must sing. Voldemort, what is your chosen song?"

"I will sing Poker Face by Lady Gaga," Voldemort replied. He muttered something, and a familiar beat began to thump.

Ba ba bum bum ba ba bum bum ba ba bum bum ba ba bum bum

"Ma ma ma ma!" Voldemort sang - except it was more of a tuneless growl than singing, really - and began to nod his head in time to the beat. He had conjured a pair of sunglasses and as he jerked his body in time to the music, his ragged black cloak flapping, I couldn't help but be mesmerised. "P - P - P - POKER FACE P - P - POKER FACE!" Voldemort spat.

The Narrator

This was chaos! There must be somebody glitching the system! But who? I was trying to search my memories and knowlege of who could be so smart and controlling, who? who? who?

"EVERYBODY STOP EVERYTHING FOR A MOMENT!!!!!!" They were so distracting, they turned and stopped. "Thankyou! Now, I think someone might be hacking into this SB to make it. Odd. We need to find out before we all get destroyed. So stop your sub-stories and get on to the real story."

Hacker

"Everyone, continue as you were," my voice boomed from the sky.

Curtain Ninja looked round for the source of the disembodied voices ordering them about like this. They seemed to be coming from Sky.
"What is the real story?" Harry asked.
"All will be revealed in seven novels and eight films time Harry," Dumbledore announced ambiguously.
"...wait shouldn't you be dead?" Harry looked at Dumbledore, confused.
"Errm...hmm..." Dumbledore coughed sheepishly and mumbled something about a different actor.
"I wanna hold 'em like they do in...IS NO-ONE EVEN WATCHING?!" Voldermort demanded in outrage.
"Please remain calm Tom," Dumbledore soothed Voldermort with a wave of his hand, "We are trying to work out who's telling us what to do."
"And what the story is," Harry added.
"And what the story is!" Justin Bieber echoed, pushing Harry out of the way.
"Don't listen to those voices, make your own minds up!" Curtain Ninja finally said something and it was unusually optimistic for someone who could become invisible, kill people without them realising and brighten up a drab living room.
"Don't be silly," Justin said, "I'd never have got where I am today on my own."
Before anyone could agree with this Edward suddenly mumbled "Um...I...have to go...". This was followed by a million girls screaming "NO!" then rushing off to find a wolf.
"This is more convoluted than the plot of Lost," Dumbledore sighed as he rolled his eyes.
"Can we pleeeease get back to the point?" Harry injected.
Looking flustered, Dumbledore hurriedly agreed, "Errr...yes, just as soon as someone goes back to page 1 and checks the synopsis for this thing." There were grumbles of varying degree as everyone looked at their feet and someone muttered "Dogs, princesses and waffle irons...?"

Jinx

"Pardon me for eavesdropping. I could not help myself." With an easy motion, I jumped from the roof where I'd been hiding. "This is fantastic-- the first time our worlds have collided in a long while."

Someone spoke up: "Who are you? And what do you know about worlds?"

Ginny

Ginny was blushing furiously partly from the passionate kiss from Harry and partly from anger and frustration.
"HARRY!," She screamed at him "I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KISS WHEN IN THE 5th BOOK!"
Harry turned sheepishly to her and started trying to explain.

(if u guys don't mind I'd like to join)
King Leonidas
As King Leonidas daydreaming about killing the Persian god/king, he heard a enormous amount of noise from what seems to be a competition between a mutated snake man and a little girl. He made his way through the crowd to get a better look at the whole thing. The mutated beast man was raging at a boy with a scar on his forehead.
"THIS IS MADNESS" said the mutated beast man
King Leonidas could not hold himself, he ran as fast as he could and with every fiber in his body he screamed
"THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!"
King Leonidas kicked the beast snake man with all his might sending him flying towards a group of girls who ever crying out the name Justin for no apparent reason.

(i know i suck DX if you want me to stop I'll stop typing) (its my first time)

Will SOMEONE PLEASE RESTART THIS !