The Little Mushroom

32 posts1, 2, 3
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Black Rabbit
Gender Female
Points 1384
Reviews 13
Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:37 pm
Black Rabbit says... · Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:37 pm
...

Thank you for your time.



KL
Last edited by Black Rabbit on Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
["Don’t be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir]
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Angels-Symphony
Gender Female
Points 4362
Reviews 263
Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:56 pm
Angels-Symphony says... · Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:56 pm
ThornedRose wrote:I lol'd hard.


You have lack of conflict, lack of plot.
Good job. There is only one "character", and there is no antagonist.
And there's a random switch of voices, yea.

Well, obviously we still have alot of crap to look through, but yours is good so far.


That was uncalled for. I quit being your mentor as of today.

-Shina
You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.
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32 posts1, 2, 3


“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
— Khalid Hosseini, Author