The reunoin

"Nelissa, do you have last nights math homework?" I turned around to find my best friend Morgan Green's pleading gaze on me.
"Yeah, you need it?" I asked her with a smile on my face.
"Sorry."
"It's totally fine," I said laughing at her guilty expression. Morgan hated coping work, but couldn't stand the disapproval of a teacher if she didn't have it done.
I turned back to my desk to get my math binder. As I was going through my papers there was a knock on the door, but I didn't bother to look up.
"Mrs. Prokop, you have a new student." I heard Miss June, our principal, say.
"What's your name honey?" asked Mrs Prokop. About that time I looked up and saw him standing there.
"Tyler Elkins," he replied. Although I'd known it was him the mane sent a shock through me and I dropped my binder on the ground. Every head in the room turned toward me and stared. Including him. Usually I would have got it up before a head could turn, but my body wasn't under my jurisdiction anymore. All I could see was him. The one who had been my best friend in ninth grade. The one who had made me smile on the worst of days. The one i had fallen helplessly head over hells in love with.
I was so caught up in my own thoughts, only a small part of my brain registered the change of expression on his face. His lips turned up into the most beautiful of smiles.
"Nelissa?" Morgan said my name as if asking if I'd lost my mind.
"Oh. Sorry," I said as I snapped out of my mind and into my body. I picked up my binder and looked down at my desk to hide my blush.
"Mr. Elkins you may have a seat beside Nelissa. The one who dropped her book." Why me? Because of all the people in the class the only empty seat in the class was on my right.
Don't get me wrong, I love that he was going to sit beside me, but it would be hard concentrate.
The next hour I was so caught up in my own little world of bliss and fear, the only thing I noticed was him. Every move he made, no matter how small, brought all my focus on him. If he shifted in his seat my head would turn an inch toward him. And their wasn't one time I looked at him where he wasn't looking back.
Then finally, it happened.
The bell rang for lunch.
Not knowing what to do I sat unmoving in my desk. But then the most beautiful of voices reached my ears.
"Nelissa?" I turned slowly toward him. He was standing beside me so I stood to.
"Long time no see huh?" I tried to sound nonchalant but my voice wavered. My heart seemed to be going a mile a minute. He smiled and a familiar spark lit up in his eyes. I had to remind myself to breathe.
"It feels like ages. Was it really only two years?" he asked not at all hiding his enthusiasm. Suddenly he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. Though I knew it wasn't the same for him, I wished the moment would never end.
But much too early, he let go.

Good start but here are some areas which need correcting.

Morgan hated not coping work, but couldn't stand the disapproval of a teacher if she didn't have it done.

Perhaps, Morgan hated copying work.

As I was going through my papers there was a knock on the door, but i didn't bother to look up.

Capitalize the i

Don't get me wrong, I love that he he was going to sit beside me, but it would be hard concentrate.

"he" is mentioned twice, less is more in this instance so removing one is a good idea.

But much to early, he let go.

Perhaps "too" versus "to".

~

Overall what I liked the most in this piece was your character development. You have created great names for your characters and I look forward to reading whether their initial habits depicted in this segment continue later on. Nelissa is very interesting. I especially liked how you described what was going on inside her head. Ultimately this was a good start with room for development. Keep on writing. Practice makes perfect.

Sincerely,
-Elitehusky

Hi there, it's Pink, dropping by for a short review.
Alright, so here's the first thing I'd like to point out. Starting a story off with a quote isn't something that you should do. Unless that quote is something catching and clings to the readers like a catching them with a lasso. In this case, turning your homework in, just doesn't exactly cut it.

Yea, you need it?" I asked her with a smile on my face.

Correctly spell the word 'yeah'. It's not good to use slang grammar in your writing although there are times where it can be ignored, this isn't one of the cases.

"Sorry,"

Period after sorry, not comma.

Morgan hated not coping work, but couldn't stand the disapproval of a teacher if she didn't have it done.

This sentence doesn't quite make sense to me. Not coping work?

but i didn't bother to look up.

Capitalize the 'I'


Overall
Okay, so I didn't bother to go and nit pick everything because there are many grammatical mistakes not to mention punctuation errors as well. I would go back and review this because it needs some work. There wasn't much to say about this piece because it's just the beginning. Keep it up,

~Pink

Heh, heh, I liked the scene where she dropped her binder. Maybe a little too dramatic, but you captured a lot of the awkwardness afterward.

I won't nitpick 'cause it looks like the other reviewers have already taken care of that.

I think your characters were really good. Morgan especially seemed very real to me: always doing the right thing, worrying about missing her homework. That's good. Nelissa was also pretty interesting; her reactions were telling. The only character I didn't get a great feel for was Tyler. Clearly he and Nelissa had had some kind of relationship, but I wasn't entirely sure where he stood on this issue. I would suggest building the back story between them a little bit more.

Your start and your end were really good, though; you had me hooked right away. And you didn't bore the reader with soppy details that some romance stories have. So thumbs up, and keep writing!

Tyler Elkins," he replied. Although I'd known it was him the manename (Unless Tyler is some kind of animal.. sent a shock through me and I dropped my binder on the ground. Every head in the room turned toward me and staredAwkward phrasing...I had to stop and re-read it making me lose interest in the story.., Including him. Usually I would have got it up before a head could turn, but my body wasn't under my jurisdiction anymore. All I could see was him. The one who had been my best friend in ninth grade. The one who had made me smile

Woah there, this all seems very fast. There was no description of any kind, and that made me sad I like to be able to visualize how characters look. But you jump really quickly into Tylers history.

"Nelissa?" Morgan said ,my name as if asking if I'd lost my mind.

The as if and if bits in a way ruin the flow of this, and confuse the reader perhaps you could use 'As though I has lost my mind'. I also don't see why she would call your MC's name like that, if from a previous paragraph, it has been hinted that it happens a lot.

I picked up my binder and looked down at my desk to hide my blush.

This is a very good example of telling instead of showing. Do please take a look at this article The Article

Don't get me wrong, I love loved that he was going to sit beside me, but it would be hard concentrate.

You keep changing tenses, work on that.

And their wasn't one time I looked at him where he wasn't looking back.

Rephrase.

But then the most beautiful of voices reached my ears.

I think you mean voice unless Tyler speaks with several voices at a time...which would be impossible.

This story seemed really clichéd, but normally I have nothing with cliché especially when you make it your own. But I kind of felt like I was had read this before, over and over again. Your MC seems to have almost no depth to her, by that I mean nothing really is known about her. I get that this is the first chapter, but the first chapter is often the chapter that introduces the characters to the reader.

You do a lot of telling instead of showing, hence the link. You change your tenses midway, although I liked the school theme of the story. I didn't feel like you brought a lot to it. There were a some grammar mistakes but I didn't really see that much spelling mistakes.

I like this story, and I think you can definitely improve on it.

Anger

If you have any questions, or qualms with my review, feel free to PM me.

You need a little more detail. It seems like just the bare minimum of the story and you could do so much more with it! Keep it up! I can't wait to read more!