The Memoir of a Red Envelope

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I knew I was destined for something important, that's what we were made for. We were not the average, no we stood out and reached out to those who received us. I was laying flat on my back, facing the glass of velvety wine, for some reason we get teamed up quite often, I guess humans can't pour their heart out without pouring a glass of wine first. It was quite in the room, my master was rubbing his temples searching deep within for the right words.

He breathed in deeper, took a slug of wine and started to write. His rough hands moving with such delicacy and tenderness. Down, at the pit of my stomach I felt jealous, jealous of who would receive the letter, jealous that he could feel such an emotion that they called "love". Finally he stopped scribbling, hesitated and signed. Taking yet another drink he folded the letter as carefully as if contemplating if he should send it or not. This is where my journey began, sliding the letter in, he closes my top, decorated me with foreign stamps and just like that my bags were packed. Down the mailbox I went and into the world.

Joined by many others, I knew I was to meet many envelopes from all over the world. Some had the same purpose, others was simply a taunting bill-carrier. Each told me their stories, some of grief and death others celebrating joy and birth. We took pride of the emotions we were carrying, knowing that that’s as close as we would get to feel them. I met some so brave they beated their chest like warriors taking on this journey with no fear, but what I had was a beating heart, my master’s heart.

The next few days were but a blur, envelope's faces began to seem all the same, for what we wanted was the same. We yearned to reach our destination. Soon I began to hear exciting whispers of our arrival. Quickly approaching our journey's end we were separated into cities, then into neighborhoods, getting closer and closer.

I would be filled with rapture if I could say that I delivered the letter into her hands, that her face flushed to a deep passionate red. I wish I could say that her heart was beating as fast and as strong as my masters, that my mission, my responsibility was complete. But, I would be lying. One simple tiny organizing mistake changed the course of their lives, I had failed. I was delivered to the wrong address and quickly thrown into the trash. I was lost, and with me my master's heart. A broken dream. A broken heart. A broken little red envelope.
Last edited by cherry343 on Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Hello cherry343, Welcome to YWS! I'll be your reviewer for today!

Nitpicks

sliding the letter in he closes my top,
Try: "sliding the letter in, he closes my top,"

Joined by many others I knew I was to meet many envelopes from all over the world.
Try: "I was joined by many others, I knew I was to meet many envelopes from all over the world."

Overall

This was a really good story, it was different, and really made me think. I mean, how many times do enevelopes go to the wrong address? A lot. It really really made me think twice, and the creepy thing was I was just about to send a love letter to someone.... :shock: creepy right? This was a really interesting story! I hope to see more of your work!

~Forest
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you,
and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me.


~Sorrow by Flyleaf




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Thanks!! ya i tend to forget the comas :S
well hope your envelope accomplishes its mission :)




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I love the angle on this! I'll never think about mail the same way again! :D I think you did a great job with this story, can't wait to read more! :smt005
We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, it's to create something that will.
[Chuck Palahniuk]




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I loved that instead of thinking in a human's perspective, you thought of what the letter would think (if it actually had thoughts.) Forestqueen basically pointed out all the nitpiks I had, but otherwise is a very different, unique story. One of my favorite lines was, "I met some so brave they beated their chest like warriors taking on this journey with no fear, but what I had was a beating heart, my master’s heart." I thought that was very well written.
Good job.
-Jane
Apple of my soul,
Eats me whole,
Take one bite,
No delight,
Rotting hole.




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Wow! This was really good! All of the nitpicky things seem to have already been covered. This was different and it made me think of the time I wrote from a pencil's point of view. Of course yours is probably much better than mine... :lol:
It was such a cute little story...well except for the end. Poor envelope :(
But either way it was really good and you should keep writing!
Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl.

got trans?




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:) :elephant:
cute story cherry
"His poetry was terrible. It sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random."




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Aw, It's soo sweet! Really nice work! Hope to see more of your work around!
Repensum est canicula.

Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi!




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What a cute story! I was dissapointed at the end, but that was ententional. :D I liked how you made the letter an actual character. I will never think of mail in the same way.
“Take one fresh and tender kiss
Add one stolen night of bliss
One girl, one boy, some grief,
some joy Memories are made of this.”
Johnny Cash



One believes things because one has been conditioned to believe them.
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World