The Deepest Feelings Of The Heart

The Deepest Feelings Of The Heart





"I had a dream about you last night. I was walking through our old neighborhood and I saw you. I feel so guilty for not ever looking for you. Instead I just waited... I feel so terrible about the

choices I've made recently. I should have told you I really feel about you. When I... finally found you I... was lost for words. I had spent so much time searching for you and practicing on what I

wanted to tell you but when I finally found you I couldn't say a thing. Do I deserve your forgiveness? The last moment we shared together was on Valentines Day. More than a year and half later

we meet again... but this time you're so much more beautiful than I remembered."
" So much time has passed since that day but yet I feel as if we will never recover. We were so close to each other... we did everything together. All that changed in just one year. There's so

much I want to tell you but it seems like there's never a right time to say it. We never have a moment alone. I know a lot of things has changed between us but that doesn't mean we still can't be

together. I'm not trying to sound selfish but I can't help the way I feel. You broke up with your boyfriend for me once and I called off my relationship for you. No one in this world means more to

me than you do and it seems that everything we had has extinguished in the flames of our souls. I never wanted any of this happen. I know how broken you are inside. I wish that I can take all the

pain that you feel inside away."
" Even if it's just for a day. I'll do anything for you because I love you. When we kids we never thought that we would one day be in love with each other. A forbidden love that isn't accepted

by most people. I'm so lucky to have met someone as caring as you. I'm incomplete without you in my life and it's eating away at my heart. One day I I'll see you again... maybe then we can finally

be together. My heart shall forever be yours."

*Moved to Romantic Fiction*

Alainna
xxx

Hey! Welcome to YWS! There's a rule on here about doing two reviews before you post your own stories. Anyways, onto your story.

I don't really understand why you have the quotation marks in here. Unless somenone's talking, there isn't a point to them. Plus, you seem to add spaces right in the middle of sentences. Example:

I wish that I can take all the

pain that you feel inside away."

You have a lot of emotion in this story, which is very good, but you should try to make things clearer and more interesting. I've heard this type of story a lot of times and you should try something that shakes up the plot a little bit. Try to make the story a little less rant-ish (going on and on about feelings) and add in both of the characters' feelings. How does the girl feel about this situation?

Again, welcome to YWS and don't give up! Questions? PM me.

~N~