The Island Lovers

hey i haven't even started properly but i need to know what you think

Chapter One:

The gravel driveway crunched under Jame's feet as he began his morning run into the city of Egdon. The gates swung open, he imagined them saying "Get out, we don't want you here". James let the fresh winter dawn swallow him, birds sang and a icy spider web hung between two thick trees.

It wasn't long before the small country lane began to transform into the big city streets. Huge skyscrapers towered either side of James as he headed to met his girlfriend at their favourite coffee shop.

I know this isn't much but it was all i have so far please tell me what it needs and if it has potential

Okay, like you said, it's not long. Therefore, there's not much to correct. Your off to a good start though.

I saw one error. "He went to met his girlfriend..." Or something like that. It should be meet instead of met.

Good start. Get more to it, and you'll get more reviews.

Hope this helped.

Jamie

Its short, but I really like it. Kind of mystical and romantic, at the same time it's suspenseful because there isn't more. Like I said, really good. umm... it should be "an icy spider", though.
Pixielit

Very nice...I think it has a lot of potential. I like it. But the only mistake was already picked up by Dr. Jamie Bondage.

I quite liked it, though wish there was more....lol...I am somewhat confused though...

Is Jame a name or is it a typo? It could well be a name I just haven't heard of so I won't call it a mistake....it's just a query....

Let me know anyway, it's bugging me! Hahahaha