Young Writers Society

Am I who I am,
this vision, this odour, these feelings,
are they real?

I look around vauguely trying to see through each one of us,
What made them who they are?
Life's journey is different for all of us,
lives are stories told by a bigger power.

What if one element was added to those stories,
what if people that were meant to meet didn't?
The chance of exchanging lives if we could,
the possibility of being us but not us.

Are we just part of choices that were not told?
Are we just different decisions we did or didn't make?
What if such journey was just the "best choice".

We are who we are, in the beginning and in the end
but is the millions of possibilities between those two integrals that define what we call life.

First of all, I would like to say that this is fantastic. This poem really made me think and overall, I enjoyed every bit of it. I would love to thank you for posting this so that others may enjoy it as well! Job well done! Keep writing.

--Maya

Hi Iamnotperfect.

I love the concept of the poem. Very beautiful. I liked it. Though I think there are a couple of punctuation problems. And this is how I'd write it:

Iamnotperfect wrote:Am I who I am,
this vision, this odour, these feelings,
are they real?

Am I who I am?
This vision, this odour, these feelings,
are they real?

Iamnotperfect wrote:I look around vauguely trying to see through each one of us,
What made them who they are?
Life's journey is different for all of us,
lives are stories told by a bigger power.

I look around vauguely trying to see through each one of us.
What made them who they are?
Life's a journey, different for all of us.
Lives are stories told by a bigger power.

Iamnotperfect wrote:What if one element was added to those stories,
what if people that were meant to meet didn't?
The chance of exchanging lives if we could,
the possibility of being us but not us.

What if one element was added to those stories?
What if the people that were meant to meet didn't?
The chance of exchanging lives if we could,
the possibility of being us, but not us.

Iamnotperfect wrote:Are we just part of choices that were not told?
Are we just different decisions we did or didn't make?
What if such journey was just the "best choice".

Are we just part of choices that were not told?
Are we just different decisions we did or didn't make?
What if such journey was just the "best choice"?

Iamnotperfect wrote:We are who we are, in the beginning and in the end
but is the millions of possibilities between those two integrals that define what we call life.

We are who we are.
In the beginning and in the end.
But it's the millions of possibilities between those wto integrals
that define what we call life.

However, you did a great job. Keep Writng!

~Solly<3

I love it!
GeeLyria already pointed out the punctuation problems, and apart from that it's great!
However, I'm not a fan on how you ended it.
''but is the millions of possibilities between those two integrals that define what we call life.''
I think you should change it in to two lines or reword it shorter - Whatever you like!
Keep it up