The poem kept me hooked for a while, but I started to lose attention near the end. This is probably because I'm not familiar with this style of poetry. I sometimes found it quite hard to figure out what you were talking about, but I liked that because it kept me thinking, it wasn't just another poem for another air-head. Impressive Keep writing!
you have a nice poem going on, my attention was really grabbed but it began getting loose towards the end but maybe it's just me. i did have a little trouble understanding it but i liked how your writting went on. nice poem!:)
Hello there! Here for review number two I absolutely love Sestina's, I am not even a fan of poetry but I think Sestina's are great and they take real talent. So, Kudos for that already. Onto the review;
I'm no expert on poetry so I can't really correct you on the mechanics of it but I will tell you my general impression. I thought the language was done very well, and of course the way you used the last words. I was given a lot of strong images both with the metaphors and the literal language. I liked the way you used words like pearl to be different things, like a cancerous pearl. However, and maybe this is because my brother was jabbering in the background, there were many parts that I had trouble understanding. I think you should make sure to tie in the poem as a whole so that there is a clear story being told (not necessarily a story with a beginning, middle and end, just something, a message you are trying to convey).
Nice work!
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes." The Little Prince
