I have to say, it seemed a bit angsty... eh, scrap that, it seemed a lot angsty. I mean, the odd meditation on the point of life is fine, but when you start getting all nihilistic on us...
"Ik bedoel van : Waarom komen we hier ?? Wat is het punt." Everyone asks what the point is at some time in their life: putting is so bluntly doesn't help this.
"Een spel zonder regels en zonder scheidsrechter... Een eindeloos spel zonder eind..." Life as an endless game without finish or a referee... it seemed a little forced, to me, and didn't fit in properly with the tone.
It seems to me that you repeat yourself a lot - life this, life that: it's very concept heavy, and what imagery you use doesn't seem to come across particularly well. If I were you, I'd focus more on what pictures you are drawing in people's heads, instead of just saying "this is what I think about life."
You're not likely to find a multitude of people to critique in Dutch: I've done what I can, and that's very limited. Other language poetry is not my specialty.
See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security. — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
