Five Poems that Start With S - Snow

Snow

Snow is very controversial topic.
Some people hate it and some people love it.
Of course there are the ones,
Who take it as it is.
It’s cold and wet,
Yet think of all things we can do with it!
We can make igloos to play hide-and-seek.
Throw snowballs at the passing neighbors.
Even make snow cones out of it!
It’s a very delicious treat,
As long as it’s not yellow.
But I wonder,
How does the grass and the trees feel?
They get covered with it for great long periods of time with this cold wet thing.
If one were to ask,
I bet they’d say they feel grateful,
For this thing that covers them.
They get to sleep all winter long.
And when spring and summer come,
They awake all refreshed!
So don’t worry about the trees and the grass my dears.
For they are the ones’ who love the snow.

Snow is very controversial topic.
Some people hate it and some people love it.
Of course there are the ones,
Who take it as it is.
It’s cold and wet,
Yet think of all things we can do with it!
We can make igloos to play hide-and-seek.
Throw snowballs at the passing neighbors.
Even make snow cones out of it!
It’s a very delicious treat,
As long as it’s not yellow.
But I wonder,
How does the grass and the trees feel?
They get covered with it for great long periods of time with this cold wet thing.
If one were to ask,
I bet they’d say they feel grateful,
For this thing that covers them.
They get to sleep all winter long.
And when spring and summer come,
They awake all refreshed!
So don’t worry about the trees and the grass my dears.
For they are the ones’ who love the snow.

I have a problem with this poem. The first line sounds like a adult, then till "As long as it's not yellow." it sounds like a child. A child describing snow. You have no emotion, just saying what it is, what it taste like, what you can do with it, and what it looks like. Then in the second half you pull out an entire new idea. Of how snow effects what it lands on. But then you loose you point about the snow. Honestly, this poem just needs a lot of work, but your writing as potential.

- Boo

helloo
I'll be your reviewer for today I am not really good at reviewing..but I am going to try anyway! XD
This poem puts a smile on my face. I actually like how the first lines sound like they come from an adult and the rest sounds like it comes from the child The poem has something sweet and innocent to it..and I like that!
Just a little thing:

Snow

Snow is very controversial topic. I think it would sound better if you'd write: 'a very'
Some people hate it and some people love it.
Of course there are the ones,
Who take it as it is.
It’s cold and wet,
Yet think of all things we can do with it!
We can make igloos to play hide-and-seek.
Throw snowballs at the passing neighbors. This line made me crack up XD
Even make snow cones out of it!
It’s a very delicious treat,
As long as it’s not yellow.
But I wonder,
How does the grass and the trees feel?
They get covered with it for great long periods of time with this cold wet thing.
If one were to ask,
I bet they’d say they feel grateful,
For this thing that covers them.
They get to sleep all winter long.
And when spring and summer come,
They awake all refreshed!
So don’t worry about the trees and the grass my dears.
For they are the ones’ who love the snow. It feels like this last line is missing something, but maybe that's just me..perhaps change it a little?

But other than: nice work! I enjoyed reading this sweet poem
-qaralynn-