Dark Raven

Dark Raven

In the Darkness,

A light appears,

I run and run but it never comes closer

Then I realize that it is nothing more then an than an illusion

I am a raven, to be exact

Locked in a cage, hoping for freedom

In the cloak of the night, I shall fly away

Someday, free as the wind, never looking back at the past and the darkness

Be free Dark Raven,

You shall find peace in the night

Into the night

A raven flies free

On the sight a dove joins on the flight

A crow joins on the journey

On the quest they shall be free

Hi! I like your poem alot! Soulful, In one word. Here's a nitpick! lol

Soulkana wrote:Dark Raven

In the Darkness, - you've already described the raven as dark - don't say darkness again. Try something like 'dense black'
A light appears,

I run and run but it never comes closer

Then I realize that it is nothing more then an than an illusion

I am a raven, to be exact - we already know he's a raven - unessasary information.

Locked in a cage, hoping for freedom

In - under would sound better - the cloak of the night, I shall fly away

Someday, free as the wind, never looking back at the past - I think you should scrap this last bit -" and the darkness"
Be free Dark Raven,

You shall find peace in the night

Into the night - perhaps use gloom, or black...

A raven flies free

On the sight a dove joins on the flight - you've used on twice here..eek...better put :"A dove swoops beside" or something like that;
A crow joins on (Don't need on) the journey

On the quest they shall be free

Hope this helps. AC xxx

Thanks for the review ^^ I'll fix it lols this is sooo long ago I'm surprised I still have it somewhere thought I had tossed it

I loved it sis!!! It was absolutely wonderful. Keep up the great job!!!