A plate of dirty false teeth on the sink
Green slime from them everywhere
Next on the kitchen table
Next on the arm of the sofa
Making me wretch
A stuffy, cigarette-smelling car
Unable to breathe, speeding to school
Mum's ill so I have to put up with:
A door that won't close, no radio
And a threat to make me walk in the rain
Stopping far from the entrance
"Get the fuck out!" I slam the door
I'm upstairs in a hot bath
Listening to him cook and curse
A screech from a cat as he treds on its tail
A thud as he hits it for getting in the way
The razor in my hand slips and I bleed
As he drops something loud in a temper
Telling my mum to quit her fine art degree
So she can "get a real job"
When his job pays nothing anyway
But he was no ambition to try anything else
Wasting his life playing computerised solitaire
Dropping ash in the keyboard
Door to the bathroom unlocked
But his huge hairy mass standing
At the sink in nothing but slippers
Washing his... with my face cloth
Nauseating
Putting me off men forever
Being arrogant, purposefully winding me up
Smacking me when I shout back
I run off slamming and stomping
Lock myself in the bathroom
Stand in front of the mirror not crying
Mum: "What did you do that for?"
Him: "You should take her to a psychiatrist"
Maybe I am fucking insane--
When the stench of sweat-drenched bed sheets
Comes drifting from his room
When he thinks he has a right to be suddenly smiley
Just because my sister visited
When he says I'm rude for "Screw you"
After he called me a c**t
When he only has a sense of humour when he feels like it
And takes my jokes rudely
When he frowns at old self-harm scars
But it's ok when he causes the wounds
--The rage bubbles in my veins
Violence bursts through like chemical fire
In my mind I plunge a knife in his neck
And the blood stains the shirt he tucks in
And the socks he wears with sandals
Perhaps even in death I'd fear and hate him
Still worry he's smash my guitar
Wipe my writing from the computer
Cause another cat to go blind
Collide my head with the piano again
Besides, what'd happen without him?
Who'd fix the PC? Burn the CDs?
Bring home new beers? Taxi his step-mother?
Tell me my homework's wrong?
Catch the chickens when they escape?
Put a stop to all growth and change?
He repulses, disgusts me
I wouldn't shed a tear at his funeral
But without him there'd just be Guinness
Without him, against whom would I rebel?
So I need him, selfishly
Want him to leave, selfishly
Never will I love him
I'm not his little girl
