Some Haiku and Tanka

Written for school-- structured poetry is about as opposite as you can get from my norm, prose poetry. So... experiments! ^_^


"Melting"

Sun-kissed icicles
blushed and melted to the ground,
shone gold in daybreak.


"Louder Yet"

Rain was ever loud;
but, when the sun was shining,
it was louder yet.




"Burnt Out"
The stars grew dimmer
with each night I retreated
into the city-
light pollution sang instead,
and they became burnt out bulbs.

(Meant to be that the stars seemed like burnt out light bulbs in the sky... couldn't word it correctly. Any thoughts?)



"Imprisoning Tree"
The leaf trembles, in
an almost unsightly joy
with thoughts of freedom
from the imprisoning tree
to singing and dancing winds.

(I wrote this one forever ago.)





Annnnd, a bonus senyru.


"Tool"
I've become a nail,
bent by the hammerhead, tool
broken in its use.




Thanks for reading my silly experiments from school!

Persephoneia wrote:and they became burnt out bulbs.

(Meant to be that the stars seemed like burnt out light bulbs in the sky... couldn't word it correctly. Any thoughts?)

burnt out light bulbs do not look like stars, nor the other way around either. Do you want the last word to be bulb? if not, it can be "and failed lights it did look like"...i really can't help you if you don't want that

i like melting a lot but i didn't quite care for louder yet because it was vague. melting was a pretty landscape painted in my head while louder yet was vague so i didn't see it as clear. i think you should try to paint a better picture in the readers head and have it flow smoother