Skysea

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Skysea

The sky is
A migrating sea seen through
The aquarium of the windows
Of a library.


----

Spoiler
This was a random inspiration I had while staring out the window at the sky one day; it was particularly windy and cloudy, hence the subject seen above. I don't normally dabble in poetry, so all comments are appreciated--especially if you can tell me *what* kind of poem this turned out to be. xD It has almost a haiku or limmeric feel to it, but more than likely it's free-form. *shrug* I want to know what you think, though! :D (Any suggestions as to how it might be broken up are welcome, also, because it originally started out as a single sentence that had some meter and rhyme to it, but...yeah. >>)
When Heroes fall and the Sacred Blade is captured, can Evil be stopped?~The Wings of Darkness

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"Funny is a formula for which there are a million variables, and it is impossible to backtrack unless, possibly, you make a living out of it."~Rosey Unicorn




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Well obviously it's way to short for me to do a real reveiw, but either way, I like it. A couple commas would be nice, but they're not really needed since it's a poem. Maybe elaborate on it a bit more, add a few stanzas, but either way, I think it's nice, and straight to the point. Keep writing!




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This poem paints a very cool picture. You have a lot of good imagery and unique description packed into a very short poem. The last two lines felt a little awkward in their wording to me, but I liked the idea of the library being like an aquarium. It would be interesting to see if you could elaborate on this at all, but I like what you have here.



Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
— Neil Gaiman