How To Live

Please, tear this bits.




So, you asked me to teach you how to live. And I have a couple of steps for you.

1) Never ask anyone else how to live;
it is a question for you and you alone.

2) Open your heart.
Open your heart to yourself, to your mind,
and your soul, and that little pinky finger on your
right hand that’s scarred from that cut you
got when you were nine.
Love yourself.
Open your heart to the wind,
to the ocean,
to all the animals that you’ll never really understand.
The sparrow outside your window
is worth your love
just as much as your dog,
your neighbor,
or your adorable little cousin.
Let yourself embrace everything,
even all that evil and hate that you
see around everywhere, and get to know it.
Understand it.
Love it, and maybe, just maybe,
all that stuff incapable of love will learn how.
Sometimes, we were just never taught.

3) Go.
Go places, change things, move on with the things you can’t change.
Continue on with life.
Travel in the world,
look at everything with fresh eyes.
Travel in your mind
and learn empathy and how it smiles,
learn it like you learned your multiplication tables
back in fourth grade.
Love it, use it, share it and show it.

4) Make amends.
Remember that time
you got super, super upset,
with that boy who cut in line?
You started a fight, verbal of course,
took a look at his shabby clothes
and smirked and smiled,
and cut him down like you were a lawn mower
and it was summer afternoon.
Well, maybe it’s about time you found him,
in that small town you live in.
Maybe you already know his name;
maybe you don’t.
But apologize.
Look ‘em in the eyes,
and say with your heart,
with every fiber of your being,
“I’m sorry.”
But only if you mean it.
The first step is learning how to mean it.

5) Embrace the bad;
everyone has trouble with something,
has some secret that they don’t want to talk about,
because that dark time
was just too terrible to think about.
Well, you should think about it.
It’s what made you who you are.
Think about that awful time,
that evil and hate and simple impurity in your life
and think about how much better it’s made everything.
Not only through comparison,
but through the lessons it taught you,
even if that lesson is something like,
“Shit happens”.
Maybe it’s a time when you learned
how to cope with life,
how to really deal with things are difficult.
Maybe it’s when you learned
who will be there when you need them.
Maybe it’s something harder to find.
But it’s there.
I promise you,
no matter what,
there is something in that time you want to forget.
So go and find it,
no matter how many tears you might waste doing it.
Because they aren’t wasted.



Okay. So I know this is really long, and kinda stupid. But I just started writing, and this came out. Please, feel free to tear it to bits.
I'm gonna go back at some point and really edit this, but need some feedback first. c:
Thanks!

It was pretty good for a ramble, yet very long, as you said. The thing that I'm a mite confused on is who's the narrator? Is it oldar, younger, middle aged...what? Could be good with some set purpose, or just a steady mindset. It was just about like advice thrown out into the wind without a specific purpose, a specific destination, or a specific origin. It just needs to be solidified and given a story. As I said; good ramble, good first draft. Write away, m'dear!
-Ligea

I really, really enjoyed this. I wouldn't say that it really belongs as poetry though, and I don't think it should be changed to be a poem. With that in mind, I won't critique it like I would a poem. You have some very poignant parts here, and it's a very genuine and meaningful piece. I especially liked how you wove stories/memories (the cut pinky finger, the boy in line, the multiplication tables) into the different parts. They added interest and made the entire piece seem more original.
I loved and hated a certain section. I'll show you what I hated first

4) Make amends.
Remember that time
you got super, super upset, (too casual)
with that boy who cut in line?
You started a fight, verbal of course, (the "verbal of course" made the line awkward in its wording)
took a look at his shabby clothes
and smirked and smiled,
and cut him down like you were a lawn mower
and it was summer afternoon. (this final comparison seemed forced and a little awkward)

I loved the story of the boy in line itself, though. I also liked the fact that you put in a comparison at the end, I just didn't particularly like the one you used.
Also, the ending seemed a bit rushed. I would try to combine all of your thoughts together in a final point, like tying stray threads into a knot.
That's all the criticism I can give you though. This is one of my favorites.