Holding On

In that shining moment, I see from where I’ve come

How far it has been, through pain and blood all that has been done.

And looking back, the past in my eyes, the present fades and memories take hold

Fleeting glimpses of pain and struggle that has passed, things unforetold

If I’d only known;

Remembering the days I didn’t think the sun would rise,

Thinking things nobody should have to feel inside

How people said this hurt would come and go

Oh, if I’d only known.

Looking ahead through light and promise, things take new form

How different it is, how all was once so forlorn.

Praying for faith when all strength is gone,


Holding on and believing when tears fall like rain.

Waiting for the light, the grace, that comes after pain.

Now, looking forwards with both hope and fear as I realize:

I know the earth will churn again, my mountains fall and waves rise,

And I’ll still be there, holding on.
...

Reviews are quite welcome!

~Voxina

This poem was good and has a lot of potential. The imagery was good and the emotions, fairly strong. However, sometimes the flow seemed faltered.

Here's an example:

In that shining moment, I see from where I’ve come

How far it has been, through pain and blood all that has been done.

I think this line is too long; this stopped the flow a little.

And looking back, the past in my eyes, the present fades and memories take hold

Fleeting glimpses of pain and struggle that has passed, things unforetold

Same for this line. These are just two examples. You might want to go through the poem and pay close attention to the flow. Also spellchecker said unforetold wasn't a word.

Overall: Like I said this was a good poem. The emotions and imagery were nice. And the theme was conveyed strongly. However, the flow could use a little work. Fix up the flow a little, and I believe you can have a poem truly special. P.M. me if you need any thing or another review. Best of luck with your writing~bluewaterlily.

Hey. I thought this was great. I understood what you were saying, and felt what you were trying to put across. I thought the idea of holding on was great, and that you finished off really well. The only thing I have to say, is that at some parts, the poem seemed a choppy, only because some of the lines seemed to go on too long. But other than that, I thought it was really good.

Hey. This was great! It started off wonderfully with good length. It gradually got better and better as I read further on. Beautifully written throughout and wonderful choice of words. I loves the last two or three lines mentioning the holding on-Fantastic conclusion. I hope to read more of your work in the future. Keep up the good work!

MWAHAHAHA!
-RepublicOfCoter(ROC)