Knife

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I just felt like writing this. If you've read any of my other stuff, you know that no good can come of it. The idea of the first line just came to me. I expanded from there.

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The knife in my heart
felt like your touch on my arm.
It felt so good,
but I knew it could not last.

Your hand on the knife
was a cruel torture to me.
Wrenching it out,
drowned me in the ice of your soul.

I fell to the knife's mercy
in your soft blood lathered hand.
The tears from my eyes
were of joy from my redemption.

The knife I keep always,
just by my side.
I know you are there
with a cruelly guiding glare.
Last edited by kingolions on Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:55 am, edited 1 time in total.




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hello my name is James!
so dude i think i get the whole perspective of the poem and it's theme...'the knife' okay cool. i say their is no need for improvement and i really like the last stanza where the knife that was torturing you was you'r own possession. the only mistake is and i have no idea how to quote!
"in you soft blood lathered hand"
it is supposed to be "in your soft blood lathered hand"
that is just a grammer mistake besides that good poem dude.




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Hey, kingolions!

Don't quite know what to say here. I wouldn't say it's one of your best poems yet not one of your worst *raises one eyebrow and looks up with wonderment*.
The knife in my heart
felt like your touch on my arm.
It felt so good,
but I knew it could not last.

I had to read over this a few times to get the feel of it. I do understand it but I think you've got the wrong idea. If it were a real knife in the heart (figuratively speaking), wouldn't it hurt (really bad)? Or is that what you are trying to say-that this person's touch is painful? That's the idea I think you are giving off. Continuing with that idea, why would it feel good? Last question which I probably should've begun with is, what exactly is the knife in this person's heart?

Again, not quite sure what to say here, though it was an odd poem to read.

MWAHAHAHA!
-RepublicOfCoter(ROC)
"As I lay down on my bed, I look up at the sky, the stars and the moon, and I think to myself: Where the hell is the ceiling?" Unknown

"The fun is in the chase, never in the capture" Agatha Christie




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Hi, kingolions
This is definitely one of the more interesting poems I have read.
If you've read any of my other stuff, you know that no good can come of it.
I disagree. Your poems are unique, generally have a good rhythm and contain descriptive language. Don't be so negative.
I have to say that this was a fairly masochistic poem.
I fell to the knife's mercy
in your soft blood lathered hand.
The tears from my eyes
were of joy from my redemption.

I think the main character would feel happy about physical pain because the person is going through life numb to emotion and the only way for the person to feel is through an other wise painful experience.I like this poem because it brings up that point and makes me think about it's implications as far as the psychology of that person and people in general. Have a good day Fiction.




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Hey! My name is Chardinay. I think that poem was great. I liked that you said you still liked her even though what she did. :D Very clever! I'd like to read more things of yours!
Feelings restrained;
Devils remain;
Paranoia is part of the blame.



Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
— Alfred North Whitehead