This was interesting. I liked the rhymes, and I think you did a good job on that. I kinda get the pain caused by her own hands part, but I had to read it twice to totally get it. I think the title could have involved more of the poem, but I understand why you picked Burning. It was really great though, I love rhyming, though I'm not able to do it much! Great job!
Sorrow lasts through this night I'll take this piece of you, and hold for all eternity For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me. ~Sorrow by Flyleaf
That was great! i like the way you said mascara running down her face, but dont you only use mascara on the top lashes? eyeliner is the thing that gets on your face if you cry or get it wet. i also like walking down the road to enlightenment, and i like the word choice. all in all, you did a good job!