Upcoming End

The clouds gather like a clump of dark, swirling wool,
the growls of lightning invoking the wrath of oceans.
Comets of flame fall across the apocalyptic sky -
a storm is about to strike.
.
A crucifix glints, unwavering in the turmoil,
as inferno's portrait is steadily painted before it.
Oratorios echo throughout the walls of the world,
but nothing, even a prayer, can stop the upcoming darkness.
.
O Lord, will mankind be repented for their sins?
O Lord, will we be given another chance?
.
Look at this world, look at the faces of today-
tainted veins of time that we flow through.
Faith is a rare practice, belief is scarce-
How many souls will have to drown
in the lake of fire and brimstone?
.
O Lord, if humanity would just open their eyes to everything around them...

It was really well written. I can't exactly find very much wrong with it... but capitalise the first letter of every sentence.

Wow. I really liked the flow of this poem, and the topic - it was awesome. I can't find many faults, but make sure you capitalise the first letter of each sentence, unless it is intentional, in which case don't worry!

I also really liked your display picture - how did you do that??

Keep writing!

Pgsgirl x

Right...am I the only one who got that this was blatant proselytizing? As a musician (thus familiar with Requiems) and a Christian (thus familiar with the Revelations) I'm incensed. This is NOT a modernization of the Dies Irae, this is a world of smug. The meat of the Requiem mass is not "everyone's going to hell but us, if only they had seen the error of their ways", it's generally "God is omnipotent, impalpable, a force beyond human comprehension. Be HUMBLE and full of awe and your love will deliver the ones you love". Kyrie eleison, Lord have mercy, have compassion for humanity. Someone you love dies, and you're begging God to take care of them, that's the Requiem mass, there is no pride in it, no smugness.
And you mean "be repentant" instead of "be repented".

"Ingemisco, tamquam reus:
culpa rubet vultus meus:
supplicanti parce, Deus."

I moan, guilty,
owning my shame with my anguish
Spare thy groaning slave.

You use the title, don't blaspheme it.

Kit wrote:Right...am I the only one who got that this was blatant proselytizing? As a musician (thus familiar with Requiems) and a Christian (thus familiar with the Revelations) I'm incensed. This is NOT a modernization of the Dies Irae, this is a world of smug. The meat of the Requiem mass is not "everyone's going to hell but us, if only they had seen the error of their ways", it's generally "God is omnipotent, impalpable, a force beyond human comprehension. Be HUMBLE and full of awe and your love will deliver the ones you love". Kyrie eleison, Lord have mercy, have compassion for humanity. Someone you love dies, and you're begging God to take care of them, that's the Requiem mass, there is no pride in it, no smugness.
And you mean "be repentant" instead of "be repented".

"Ingemisco, tamquam reus:
culpa rubet vultus meus:
supplicanti parce, Deus."

I moan, guilty,
owning my shame with my anguish
Spare thy groaning slave.

You use the title, don't blaspheme it.

Whoa...oops, I guess the title is a bit misleading. This poem was intended to point out that man should realize his mistakes before it's too late, and therefore, I used 'Dies Irae,' which actually doesn't refer to the hymn, but rather the meaning (Day Of Wrath), to refer to the end of everything. And I don't have any intention of proselytizing. I just used religious-like words to 'shape' the atmosphere of the poem.

I apologize if you found this offensive - I also have to say, I don't have much knowledge of this subject. I'll change the title to avoid confusion.