Silent Night.

Recklass:

These recklass nights desire to run from confusion.
Leave the memories,
Leave the pain,
Leave the past,
Leave the nightmares,
And, let go of that voice of fear.


The pain you cannot see,
Due to the fact of it being shown in silence.
You may not want to pretend to believe her ego,
But it's there in the silence of darkness waiting to burst.


One day you will see,
This wasnt a lie, it wasnt a joke.
Nor was it a cry for your slaving attention.
It was to see, it there was truly Hope.


Now as you were believing your self-centered opinion and thoughts,
Over someone else's actual fearsome concern with life.
The confusion has ended in a silent night.

First of all, welcome to YWS! I'm Searria, but you can call me Sea.

You have a good idea for a poem here, but the wording in some places is rather odd.

Silent Night:

These nights are recklass with the desire to run from confusion.

I would lose the colon after the title, and you don't even really need to put the title there if you don't want to. It should be "reckless." I think it's a little strange to start the poem with such a long line followed by shorter ones. It also doesn't follow the rythym of the rest of your stanza. Now, you could say, "These reckless nights desire to run from confusion," but that's still pretty long. You also wouldn't want to use that if you meant that the nights are reckless with the desire.

The pain you cannot see,
Due to the fact of it being shown in silence.
You may not want to attend to believe her ego,
But it's there in the silence of darkness waiting to burst.

The second line is worded strangely. I don't like "due to the fact" it messes with the rythym. I would say, "The pain you cannot see because it's being shown in silence." I think you may have misused the word "attend" in the third line. Perhaps you meant "Pretend"?

One day you wil see,
This wasnt a lie, it wasnt a joke.
Nor was it a cry for your slaving attention.
It was to see, it there truly was Hope.

add another "l" in "will" and I think you meant "if there truly was hope."

Now as you were believing your self-centered opinion and thoughts,
Over someone elses actual fearsome concern with life.
The confusion has ended in a silent night.

"else's"

This is a lot different than what you lead us to believe in the title. When I hear "Silent Night," I think of the song. You added a whole new air to the term.

I would like you to elaborate on why the confusion is there. It doesn't really make sense to me at the moment.

Well, I hope I helped. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

-Sea-

i think that it was in a way depressing and yet also releasing but at about the middle point I got lost.You should us egood words to make it so you are able to keep the readers attention and to give them a reason to read the otherwise outstanding poem that you have writen.

Hello.

Wait, do you mean reckless? or is Recklass really a word?

"These recklass nights desire to run from confusion."

THe first line is a little confusing. The night is reckless but it desires to run from confusion? Ideas are clashing.

"The pain you cannot see,

Due to the fact of it being shown in silence."

I love those two lines. It's really beautiful how you put it. Just because a person does not speak of pain it doesn't mean he is not a sufferer of it, eh? Lovely.


:"One day you will see,

This wasnt a lie, it wasnt a joke.

Nor was it a cry for your slaving attention.

It was to see, it there was truly Hope."

This is my favorite part. Especially the last line. Hope is too lovely in poetry.


The problem that I see is that at times your words get a little confusing. All it needs is a bit of conretization of ideas, I think. A few metaphors and a slight bit of imagery here and there. But anyway, this was a great read. My favorite from all the poetry I've read from you so far.

--Knightly

Hello.

Now, starting with the title. Be careful, there's also a song with the same name. The stanzas are kind of unbalanced, I'd make each the same amount of lines.

I think that there's a lot of repetition in the first stanza. I would add more all over. Leave, leave, leave, leave....

Some lines seem too line; others need some description added to them.

Other than that, I think it was amusing! Good job!

I noticed that your strengths are stylistic devices and alliteration/repetition. Your weaknesses are figurative language, symbolism, and occasionally grammar.


--Colt