Ode to Karl Marx

The last 4 lines need work, but I wanted to finish before I turn in for the night. Thoughts? Tear it up!


Romanticism in full swing
Your teacher’s nearly sweating
Wordsworth, Shelly, Coleridge, Keats,
What could be more sublime?

“Tell Shakespeare that the ode’s the thing,”
he said, himself forgetting.
“There’s nothing in this world that beats
the Ancient Mariner’s rime.”

He strides around the room, reciting.
His face looks like a beet
As he goes on about Grecian urns,
nightingales, and skylarks.

Winston finds this real exciting
He’s squirming in his seat.
But in his lap are other concerns
He’s furtively reading Marx.

nixonblitzen wrote:
Romanticism in full swing IRight off I'm confused because the first line seems like it wants to say romanticism is in full swing, which would put me in the time of romanticism, which is not what the poem is about. Needs to be clearer
Your teacher’s nearly sweating
Wordsworth, Shelly, Coleridge, Keats,
What could be more sublime?

“Tell Shakespeare that the ode’s the thing,” I don't get this line and the next. Okay the teacher is speaking, yes? So why would he adress his students to tell Shakepeare something? Also, himself forgetting would be better with a comma or even a semi colon after it.
he said, himself forgetting.
“There’s nothing in this world that beats
the Ancient Mariner’s rime.”

He strides around the room, reciting.
His face looks like a beet This line...lacks class. It doesn't fit with the rest of the poem.
As he goes on about Grecian urns,
nightingales, and skylarks. Is the comma after nightingales neccessary?

Winston finds this real exciting
He’s squirming in his seat.
But in his lap are other concerns
He’s furtively reading Marx.
I like the jarring effect of Marx. That's a good word to cut through the flow and bam! But it seems sort of like the poem shouldn't be named after this, as it isn't the main point of it (or so it seems to me)

I "got" it but I didn't really get it. It seems like a half told story. Yeah the teacher is get excited about great literature and kid likes the ideals of Marx instead. But why do we care? It seems kind of gimmicky to just throw Marx in there, a shock tactic. I'm not sure why you wrote this poem and the meaning you were trying to express. It just looks as if it went over my head. Well written though it was, it sort of flopped.

Hi!
I'm not much of a poet myself, but here's what I've to say:

I didn't quite get your poem, to be honest.
I expected it(the poem) to start off with what MArx or what he does not

Romanticism in full swing

Your teacher’s nearly sweating

I get it that the teacher likes great literary icons and the student likes Marx. You could start it this way but make the poem longer and do justice to the title:
Ode To Karl Marx

As Ducati said, "His face looks like a beet" the line is slightly childish, not formal-ish like the rest of the poem.

You could do something better than this I'm sure and I like the style of writing, it's nice.

~Lava

I actually thought that this was really cool. Apart from the one line:

His face looks like a beet...

Maybe, "his face was red as beet"? But "beet" is rather overworked. And out of place, so I'd find a different vegetable.

Winston finds this real exciting

He’s squirming in his seat.

But in his lap are other concerns

He’s furtively reading Marx.

The first time I read this last bit, it didn't quite feel right, but then rereading it, it did. So, maybe it needs tweaking? I'm not sure.

Romanticism in full swing

Your teacher’s nearly sweating

Wordsworth, Shelly, Coleridge, Keats,

What could be more sublime?

There seems to be a lack of punctuation here. The first line should end with a full stop, and maybe the second one as well. Maybe the third line should end in a dash?


*stars*

I wanted to write a poem about Lee Harvey Oswald as a greasy, awkward teenaged kid dreaming about world domination during class. Then I looked him up and it said he liked Marx. It kind of evolved into this. The point of the poem was the boy reading Karl Marx all along. But I agree that the title is misleading. I had to come up with something catchy when I posted it. I actually hate titling my poems.

Thanks everyone!
rachel