This was very whiny and boring. The sort of effect you want to create with such a poem, I'm assuming, is to gain sympathy. When I read this, all it did was make me what to tell you to grow up. Lots of kids have parents who fight. It is normal, and it does hurt, but for this to resonate with readers and get the kind of effect you want, show us what it's like. Give examples. Paint a picture for us with your words. And don't whine about people who think your life is great because they don't know what your home life is like.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
Please calm down. She was commenting on the poem, not on your actual life. I've had almost the exact same experience in my life, so I know how you feel. Know that what follows is commenting on the POEM, not on your experience.
This was.. poorly written. There's no structure, and it's more like a rant to a friend than a poem. Make us FEEL the pain! Make us FEEL the agony of people thinking your life is perfect! Just expand and elaborate on it a little more. I think this needs a complete rewrite.
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 22