Young Writers Society

*slightly revised version - originally posted under a different username just in case you recognize it*

This world needs a synchronizer,
an equalizer,
Something adding the minuses,
adding the finances,
In this world of violence,
all are silenced
but we need to recognize,
and vocalize,
the issues of this world,
The confusion,
allusion,
delusion,
that we live in
obliviously
but seriously.
What can we come to?
Amount to?
In this struggle of life
through continual strife,
the corruption,
destruction,
Where’s the conviction?
We live for pleasure
but no one seems to measure
the pressure
they place on our society,
our reality.
Are we slipping?
People seem obsessed,
possessed,
Are their hearts breaking?
from all of the hating,
the spitefulness generating,
making,
for a one world war
a one world law
Survival.

I kinda liked this. I enjoyed reading it! Good Job!

You want to watch your punctuation in the poem, you went from a comma to a new sentence with nothing in between. Other thatn your punctuation I thought this poem was very well done.

That was two things: a good rap AND a good poem! You get extra points from me for that! That was amazing--I found nothing wrong with this poem at all! No nitpicks, no nothing! Keep writing!