Young Writers Society

I wrote this free-verse poem in the 10th grade. My classmates liked it, but what do you think?

Getting tired of the real world?
Can’t get the boy or girl you want?
Want to go on the dream vacation?
Want to fly in the sky?
Touch the moon?
Ride on a rainbow?
Do you want to sing on American Idol, but can’t?
Want to be in the NBA, NHL, PGA, NFL, or maybe NASCAR?
Want to have Bill Gates’ money?
Tour through Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and eat chocolate all day?
Kick butt beside Neo in the Matrix?
Want a pet T-Rex?
Fight Jet Li and Jackie Chan at the same time?
Rule the world?
Jump in a pool full of Jell-O?
Go to the top of Mt. Everest and shout your name?
Build a house on Mars?
Walk on water?
Marry the prettiest actress or the most handsome actor?
You can do all of these things, but there is a catch.
All you have to do is simply….
Dream.

I like it. Personaly, I would want to fight Jet Li and Jackie Chan at the same time.
I liked the plot of the poem. The rhythm was good too.

Thank you ma'am. I will fight them to the death!

perhaps you can space it out a bit. Hard fo me to read.

I like it
It was cool and funny

Thanks darkdove! Like the new avatar.

I like the informal tone of it.
It almost sounds like an advertisement speech at the top.
Enjoyed reading it as it involves the reader..
Perhaps not the best poetry I've read on here, but the irregular structure suits this.

Thanks for the review!

Nice poem, For dreams all though we are, and not for thou to be alone. we are all alike. at yet, we are all unique. it is an anomaly. keep dreaming.


peace.

Thanks..... I guess.

Anybody else have an opinion about my poem? I'm up for anything!

OMg Love it

you can close your eyes and dream you see the future,you can shape it and hold it in your head until your actually there.

That was a really nice poem! And it had a flow! I cannot tell you how often I read poetry that has no flow! This poem seemed like wise advise, and that factor added charm to it. I have a question, though...

What to go on the dream vacation?
What to fly in the sky?

Shouldn't it be...

Want to go on the dream vacation?
Want to fly in the sky?

OMG I didn't catch that type-o!!! Thank you so much!