This is a good haiku. Personally, though, I think haikus tend to be worthless, in the end, and would suggest you use this image and incorporate it into a larger and more significant piece.
Thanks for the read,
Brad
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
A nice haiku. I disagree with Incandescence though, I like haikus, althought they can be more shallow than longer poems. Writing several haikus in series is good as well, perhaps you could continue on this theme.
I have to agree...this was actually nice--but I am not a fan of haikus. The one bit of imagery you used in this was good, but I just feel like there isn't enough substance in a haiku and I don't typically feel the need to read them again. I kind of feel like haikus are the easy way out.
It's crazy how your life can be twisted upside down inside out and around and you can get sushi from safeway still looking like a normal person — starchild314
