Hellcat

6 posts
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Points 890
Reviews 91
Hellcat

I'm a hellcat I write
to little children
letters about little Christmas angels
run over by cars on
highways I write
about you and how
some people would
kill you for cash I write
about the Beatles and how
Elvis was overrated (I'm a real
Beatles guy) I write
about poets on the internet and how
I hate them one day
and the next
one poem makes the difference I write
about God I write
about clocks and how
not much can stop them
even if the hands break I write
about friends and beers
and tasting new things I write
words I wouldn't dare
repeat to mom I write
this I write
the color of crying I write
sixteen inches of snow
poured on top of me I write
about shoveling
it all up I write

about the swing
that won't stop swinging
it's blue
someone should be on it
rocks are everywhere
I'm barefoot
my feet have begun to bleed
I look around
no one around
the big brown house on the hill
the swing keeps swinging from the tree

as I howl to the wall
on a Monday night
as the snow keeps falling
and I keep laughing.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
Whoever you are, poetic stranger, I love you.
Wow... this was a great poem though... It gave me a lot to think about...
It might scare little children telling them Angels get run over... for that I give you 110% :)

My favorite part was this:

"I write
about poets on the internet and how
I hate them one day
and the next
one poem makes the difference I write
about God I write
about clocks and how
not much can stop them
even if the hands break ..."

Wow, this was pretty good... It was very random though and all over but it kept it's basic plotline . Of course, my opinoins aren't that.... worthy of even being titled opinoins.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1125
Reviews 368
Good job!

This is a marvellous piece of work and I liked it.Keep writing :)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
about the swing
that won't stop swinging
it's blue
someone should be on it
rocks are everywhere
I'm barefoot
my feet have begun to bleed
I look around
no one around
the big brown house on the hill
the swing keeps swinging from the tree

i don't believe this fits with the elements of the poem.
Carpe Diem.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 91
I wrote it stream of consciousness--when I was writing it a powerful childhood image came to mind and I couldn't shake it. The poem demanded to be included in my experiences. 8)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 411
Hmm…
This poem is a bit unlinked and too bizarre. And it has a potential to be better.
The way you’ve placed the “I write”s are unconventional but at the same time it’s unique.
The poem, when it began with angels and Christmas, seemed like one filled with magical creatures but later on the setting changed completely. That wasn’t much approved. Angels and Elvis and the Internet are quite mismatched. You could delete the lines with the angel cause it really doesn’t bring about any effect.
Once again the theme changed entirely when you wrote about the ‘hellcat’ and its condition. I think you should have kept the ‘I write’ pattern intact. The last two stanzas is not at all with the flow of the poem with which it started. It seems like a part from another poem with another theme-they don’t merge well enough.
You should also put in the vital punctuation marks; specially a comma or semicolon before every ‘I write’-that is very, very important.
Why do you have to be a ‘hellcat’? You could be anyone nasty writing to children. So I think you should add some typical characteristics of hellcat if you want it to be special. The word sounds pretty cool though.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy