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To Kill A Unicorn [2/2]

Ranger Hawk · 2011-03-28T14:46:54Z

I don't like the ending, and I've had several different scenarios but none of them seem to work very well. I don't want it to be very poignant (since that's not the point of the story) but I also feel like the ending I have now is just too weak. It'll be something I tweak later on. Anyway, thanks in advance for any reviews! (: To Kill A Unicorn Part Two of Two “How much farther is the castle?” Mud asked in between huffs and gasps. They had been walking for a long time—the longest Mud had ever walked at one time—and she definitely needed a rest. Pride made her keep on, though, after the seemingly never-tiring unicorn. It turned now and eyed her. “You’re not going to go and die on me, are you? That’d be very inconvenient after we’ve come all this way.” Mud was too out of breath to answer, so the unicorn continued. “We’re not that far away. He actually lives quite close to your town, though he’s always been too busy casting his gaze out to the big cities to really pay much attention to yours.” “Th-that’s good,” Mud panted. “Mm, until now,” the unicorn muttered. It swished its tail impatiently. “I suppose you need a breather, judging from the way you’re gasping like an aired fish.” Mud did not respond; she simply sank to the ground and sat, legs splayed out in front of her beneath her ragged brown dress. The unicorn stepped daintily closer. “Ever been this far from home?” it asked cheerily. “No.” “Why ever not? I’d think, since you didn’t have anyone or anything keeping you, that you’d want to explore and try your fortune somewhere else.” “They were used to me. I’d have to start all over in another village, and they might not have been so nice.” “Nice? Well, that’s a word. Not used in the proper sense, but still.” Mud sighed and changed topic. “So, why did you kill those people?” “Which ones?” the unicorn asked breezily. “Rowena and the men.” “Oh.” The unicorn shook its head delicately. “Orders and all.” “From who?” “Who d’you think?” A hint of annoyance crept into the unicorn’s voice. “You think I enjoy having to search for all of these remote villages and use local legends to his advantage? Besides being morally despicable, it’s downright tiring. And dangerous, at times. But only if the people there know a thing or two about us, and have the sense to use spears with silver heads—” it broke off, glancing warily at Mud. “Anyway, it’s not like I’d choose this kind of life.” “What would you rather be doing?” Mud inquired, piqued by this insight into the unicorn’s life. “I’d be frolicking in meadows and making rainbows with my horn and eating sweets while dancing with butterflies.” “Really?” “Of course not!” The unicorn seemed perturbed. “Do you know what sarcasm is?” Mud stared at the unicorn without blinking, and it sighed. “I guess you don’t.” “So what would you really do, then?” Mud persisted. “I wouldn’t be trekking around with miniature elephants, for starters.” Mud stuck her tongue out. “I can’t help this,” she said dolefully. “Maybe not the face, but you could certainly exercise more,” the unicorn replied tartly. “Speaking of which, let’s trek on.” Mud heaved herself to her feet and trudged behind. Watching the unicorn’s impatient trot made her think of another question. “Why are you working for the wizard anyways?” Its bouncy stride suddenly calmed down. “Erm…I don’t know.” “You have to know,” Mud said, a little confused. “You were there.” “Was I? How do you know? Were you there?” “No, I don’t think so.” Mud scrunched up her forehead, thinking. “No, I was not.” “Well then,” said the unicorn, and that was that. After a few more miles of walking through the forest, the unicorn spoke up. “Incidentally, I never caught your name. I kind of need to introduce you…” “It’s Mud.” “Now, don’t be embarrassed. I’m sure it’s not all that bad. What’s your name?” “I said. My name is Mud.” “Oh.” The unicorn was silent for a time. “What’s your name?” Mud finally asked. “Don’t have one.” This was interesting to Mud. “How do you know when someone’s talking to you?” “Have you heard of eye contact? No, never mind—don’t answer that.” Mud was still thinking about the name. “Could I name you?” she asked, a little timorously. “No.” The unicorn was adamant, and Mud left it at that. “I don’t really like my name,” she ventured. “At least it’s not backwards,” the unicorn remarked, more to itself than to her. Mud didn’t quite understand this, but continued on. “If I could name myself, I’d be Arianna.” “So call yourself that.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” Mud thought. “Because everyone would laugh.” “Am I laughing?” The unicorn seemed more annoyed than anything, so Mud truthfully answered, “Not at all.” “Well then!” “But other people—” “Don’t they already laugh at you?” the unicorn pointed out. “One more thing won’t kill you. Besides, you don’t have to worry about them anymore. You’ll never see them again.” This was comforting, in one aspect. “Yes, I guess so,” Mud said slowly. She was going away to a wizard’s castle, to get a new start on life. Why shouldn’t she be whoever she wanted to be? “All right, Mud,” the unicorn started. “It’s not Mud. It’s Arianna.” The unicorn huffed. “Oh sure, now you get all pretentious. Anyway, you , we’re almost at the castle. Just a warning.” “I’m ready,” Mud said. “Good. One of us is.” They left the forest in a matter of moments and Mud had a fine view of a large castle on a spreading meadow. It looked a little foreboding, almost like a large, dark carcass sitting awkwardly on a fine green carpet. Its towers and turrets were crumbly, its wall was covered in mold and vines, and the great iron gates were hanging on their hinges, creaking in the faint wind. “No wonder he needs maids,” Mud said disapprovingly. “Look how messy it is! If it were mine, I’d fix it up.” “I’m sure you would,” the unicorn sighed. “And when did you become such a talker?” Mud was startled into silence. “Um.” “I thought, when I first met you, ‘Oh good, it’ll be a nice quiet trip and we won’t have any awkward questions asked, and once I deliver her to Wentley that’ll be that.’ But you’re actually really nosy.” Mud covered her nose with a hand. “I can’t help it,” she complained. “Not that . I meant you ask a lot of questions that don’t always concern you.” “I’m keer-ee-us.” “Curious? Yes, I’d agree.” The unicorn sighed again. “Anyway, time to shut the piehole now. Just follow me and act polite.” Mud obeyed, and trailed behind the unicorn into the castle. ***** “So you’re finally here,” boomed a voice as they entered a large decaying throne room. Mud caught a glimpse of blue robes and a tall figure looking out the window before the lights suddenly dimmed and the windows seemed to shut out any sunshine. “Er, I’ve brought you the virgin from Histeria,” the unicorn said, its coat showing up in the darkened room. “Her name’s Arianna.” “Arianna,” said the wizard. “What a lovely name.” Robes rustled in the dark; Mud felt the presence of the wizard in front of her. “Let’s have a look at you, shall we?” Wentley said in a low voice. “If you feel that’s for the best,” the unicorn’s voice muttered. “Shut up, or I’ll skin you,” the wizard hissed. “I knew it!” the unicorn wailed. The wizard’s exasperated sigh could be heard. “Anyway, let’s have a look at you, my dear Arianna.” A small spark turned into a flickering flame hovering in the wizard’s hand; he lifted it to Mud’s face and then— “Eeegrahhkks!” said the wizard in a strangled kind of voice, before falling back and hitting the floor with a loud cracking sound. The flame went out at the same time that the lights lit back up and the curtains opened to reveal sunlight. Mud blinked at the sudden change, then looked down at the floor. A middle-aged man dressed in a ridiculously long robe way lying on the floor. His eyes bugged out as if staring at something horrific, and his tongue was lolling out of his mouth. “Do you think he’s okay?” Mud whispered to the unicorn. “I imagine not,” the unicorn said in an extremely cheery tone. “In fact, I think he’s dead!” “Really?” Mud gasped. “That’s awful!” “Awfully wonderful!” the unicorn cried, prancing happily in place. “What made him die?” Mud asked worriedly. “I expect he had a heart attack, which made him fall and crack his skull open.” “You don’t think I had anything to do with it, do you?” Mud desperately hoped not. “Oh, absolutely!” the unicorn said cheerfully. “It was your face, you big lout, your excellent face! Oh, how splendid!” It capered around the room, its energetic hoof beats echoing off the walls. “I do owe you a thanks, a most heartfelt thanks! You have released me from service, and I am free once more!” “But-but what do I do? I don’t remember how to get back home.” “Home? Why ever would you want to go there again? Shabby place, compared to this!” “I can’t live here!” “Sure you can! It’s yours now!” The unicorn stopped its joyful trotting and gestured to the dead wizard. “It’s a well-known fact that whoever kills a castle’s owner becomes the new one! And you, my dear, have succeeded in ending the reign of this terror!” “Oh.” Mud looked about. “It is a big place,” she said thoughtfully. “But I don’t have anyone to help me clean it.” “That’s what the gargoyles are for,” the unicorn said impatiently, but in a happy tone. “Didn’t you see them on the roof? They’re your new slaves now! All you have to do is call them and give them your orders, and they’ll obey!” “Really?” Mud said, amazed at her luck. “Yes!” The unicorn pawed the stone floor. “Now, I shall be on my way. Farewell, my dearest Mud! Or Arianna—whatever you’re going by now.” “It’s Arianna,” Mud confirmed. “Mouthful, that is. Whatever suits your fancy.” “Do you suppose the other girls he used as maids are around here?” Mud asked, suddenly remembering. “Perhaps they could live with me.” The unicorn seemed a little less excited. “Erm, I think when you killed him all the enchantments wore off and they all returned home.” “Oh,” Mud said, doubtfully. “Well, that’s good for them I guess.” “Sure.” The unicorn trotted towards the door. “Anyway, I’m off. Thank you very much; I’ll remember you always.” “Won’t you come by and visit sometime?” Mud asked, desperate to have some kind of company before being left alone. “Maybe. You never know.” The unicorn looked at her for a moment, serious. It stepped forward and tapped her shoulder with its horn. Mud felt something heavy lifted from her heart. “What’s that for?” she asked. “Just giving you a little more cheer. You look gloomy. I also happened to ensure that you’ll have plenty of company soon. Couldn’t do anything for the brains, pity, but at least you’re on a start. Might also want to get busy exercising.” “Er, thanks?” “Least I could do. Well, not really the least . Anyway.” The unicorn trotted out of the castle, and Mud followed it to the door, where she hung back. “Cheers!” called the unicorn, and cantered out to the meadow. Mud watched it go until it was no more than a white speck on a blanket of green. “Bye,” she whispered. A rainbow seemed to appear on the meadow, where the unicorn had been just moments before. Mud turned back and rolled up her sleeves. There was a lot to clean up.

mangawolf

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Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:05 am

mangawolf says... · Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:05 am

Part two was just as amazing! I like the ending (you didn't?) Ah, I know how that feels, when it's your own story you're reading, but I like it, and as the reader, that's all that matters! Mwuah-ha-ha.

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LadySpark

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Mon May 02, 2011 6:36 pm

LadySpark says... · Mon May 02, 2011 6:36 pm

Wonderful.

nuff said'

hush, my sweet

these tornadoes are for you

-Richard Siken

Formerly SparkToFlame

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xDudettex

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Tue May 03, 2011 8:03 pm

xDudettex says... · Tue May 03, 2011 8:03 pm

Hey Ranger!

I liked the ending - it was nice to see Mud, er, Arianna, get some good fortune. She seemed like a nice enough person, if supposedly ugly and a bit dumb. I was glad that she didn't get killed or turned into a slave like the girls before her - it was funnier that she killed the wizard, if by accident.

I loved the sarcastic unicorn! The humour in the piece was great too - it added to the story.

The story was a joy to read and I'm jealous of how easily you made it flow.

I don't have any nit-piks, seeing as I got here late - so you'll have to make do with my praise

xDudettex

'Stop wishing for the sunshine. Start living in the rain.' - Kids In Glass Houses.

'Would you destroy something perfect in order to make it beautiful?' - MCR artwork.

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When your heart gets pierced with arrows, don't rip them out and pierce those around you in retribution for your hurt. You'll only unnecessarily wound others and bleed to death yourself.
— LadyMysterio

To Kill A Unicorn [2/2]

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