Layla's Story (Short Version)

Hello, My name is Layla Larson. I live in Flint, Michigan. I go to Bear Paw Flint Middle School with my to best friends Alana and Mathew. We have bullying issues with the what we call the CPG group. CPG stands for Cool Popular Girls. They think there better than EVERY ONE! There always bragging about how there Daddy's buy them what ever they want and make fun of the lower and less wealthy partial of the class. Lindsay Day is the what we call the leader of the pack, her zombie followers were Emma Crin, Stacey Craw, Naomi Duster, and Sissy Fischer.We went to an old friends house who told us a wonderful story that goes like this.
A young fairy named Layla, and her two best friends Rex and Jade had to deal with two fairies name Nicole and Vivia who thought they were better than every one!So one day when princess Butter Cup was kid napped by the evil King Eric Queen Starlight chose Layla and her friends to find her and save her!All in the end King Eric was killed and they saved Princess Butter Cup who was not harmed.

For the Novel It's coming out in a week!

CKM

This looks a bit like a synopsis, so I'm not sure if you're looking for an edit, or what kind of edit you're looking for

They think there better
There always bragging

"They're" in both cases, because you're saying "They are" rather than the words better and bragging being something tangible that belongs to them.

CPG group. CPG stands for Cool Popular Girls

I like this, it makes it seem more immersive. I remember using acronyms for everything in high school. Drove my teachers up the wall.

there Daddy's

"their daddies." Because "there" is what you'd use to refer to a place, like "over there", whereas "their" refers to belonging, like "their hats". With "daddies" it's the opposite, as you add the "s" for plural, rather than possession.

wealthy partial of the class

"partial" sounds a little clunky here. Maybe go with something like "portion" "part" or "group"? Just a thought.

is the what we call the leader of the pack

I don't think you need the "the" in there, just read it through and see if I'm right.

Fischer.We

Add a space between the words.

old friends house

sounds like this should be "friend's" unless they're friends with more than one person in the house in which case it's "friends' ".

one!So one

Space between words.

was kid napped

no need for a space between "kid" and "napped" 'kidnapped" is one word.

King Eric Queen Starlight

I think you might need a comma between these two names, just because the sentence changes direction here.

her!All

space

This was cool, I enjoyed it. You gave your narration a strong element of believability to it.
It felt a little short or packed together and I'm sure more fun could be had with a bit longer a piece describing the narrator's experience and the story within it in a little more detail.
I made a lot of mark-ups, but they were all of the same kind, which means there are really only 2-3 things that I see that could do with some improvement. The difference between "they're" "their" and "there" is important as the words refer to very different things. Fingerspacing isn't usually a big deal and in most cases a spellchecker will pick it up (except in the case of kid napped, maybe). ui think there was one or two apostrphe mark-ups but that wasn't too noticeable.

So all in all, yes, a good piece, keep up the good work.

Let me know through PM if you have anything else you'd like me to review.

Hope I was helpful,

Rubric