To My Former Master

Camille City-----------------------------------------------------------Wild Untamed World
Knight’s Hall-------------------------------------------------------------------The Woods
Sir Irwin---------------------------------------------------------The One who is now free

To My (Former) Master Irwin,

I do hope you are keeping yourself well and good; now, we may as well get right to it. No doubt you have realised that I have spent my sweet time returning to you Master, and no doubt you’ve searched for me. But I do wish to tell you, that I do not consider you my master any more.

For many years I have completed dangerous quests for you and your Lord Kaine, and you praised me for never complaining and getting the job done, but I do not wish to do this any more. Why? I seek freedom, and I do believe I’ve found it. The last quest you gave me; Defeat the Evil Dragon, for he had led a brutal rampage of terror on the Western Realms, and you sent me to defeat him. You promised me great rewards, great recognition, great fame, but what did I receive? I’ll tell you; a damn good beating and burnt clothes, if it weren’t for my new love, I am sure I would have been killed. Yes, I have found love, a ranger woman, a wild temptress who I can’t seem to get my mind off of. For while I laid helpless in front of the Evil Dragon the bellowing sound from a horn echoed down the long cave until suddenly a caped figure came and stunned the Evil Dragon before pulling me helpless to safety. So now I lay in her care, I call her the ranger and I have no wish to ever return.

And so I bid you farewell master, don’t expect me to return for my belongings, I need no more reminders of my past life, for I have started on the road of a grand new one, one which I hope one day you will follow. Please, do not refer to me as a “traitor”, a “failed pupil” or an “Ex-Apprentice” for I am not doing this out of hate, just as a personal quest, call me the Freeman. For I am free, free of the rules of your great Kingdom, I am free to roam and learn as I wish. Farewell.

Yours Sincerely and Respectfully,
Your Former Apprentice; Tion

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Alright, my first post is probably the shortest story I've written by my own will, and I hope you enjoy it. This story is basically a huge metaphor for Anarchy, and having recently discovering that I am an Anarchist myself this tale is an Pro-Anarchy tale.

Now, if you wish to discuss Anarchy with me, sure just reply to this thread. Also, if you have a look try and figure out what each of the characters are representing.

(Just to note, if ANYONE finds anything offensive in this material, leaning towards the area of Racism especially, please tell me so for I do not wish to offend ESPECIALLY in that area)

Oh yeah, this is supposed to be like a Formal Letter, so if someone can help me format the top three lines properly for the forum that would be good. But otherwise, just think of it like a letter.

Thanks for reading,
-Tom

Ok, I have no comment on the whole anarchy subject, only a few grammar errors I saw that could make your story/letter whatever flow smoother, mostly dealing with commas and sentences that are too long.

I’ll tell you; a damn good beating and burnt clothes- if it weren’t for my new love, I am sure I would have been killed.

For while I laid helpless in front of the Evil Dragon, the bellowing sound from a horn echoed down the long cave, until suddenly a caped figure came and stunned the Evil Dragon before pulling me helpless to safety.

And so I bid you farewell master. Don’t expect me to return for my belongings. I need no more reminders

So now I lay in her care, I call her the ranger and I have no wish to ever return.

This sentence just doesn't come off right. Possibly replacing the coma with a period could fix it, or just reworking it entirely.

Thanks for that, I've just gone through the copy on my computer and have fixed the problems you specified. Although, I only changed the coma with a period in the last sentence you showed. I can't think of a more appropriate way to say it.

Thanks again,
-Tom

Looking at it again, I'd probably add a comma after ranger in that sentence, too, because that's where you'd naturally pause reading it aloud. Sorry I didn't notice that in time to add it to my last post.
Good luck with the story, though.