The Diary 3

I know you all think that this story is not fantasy fiction, but give it a chance. It will become. It's just not there yet.

October 23rd

The first thing that I want to talk to you about is Chad. We’ve been writing letters for two months now, and with great success! The more that I talk to him, the more alike we find that we are! All of our letters are quite long and I must get at least one a week. I’ve talked to my friends and they all say that all of their pen pals are boring and they gave up writing tot them long ago. Chad said that we should both start accounts on AIM so that we can talk easier and quicker. I’m going to do that this afternoon. Chad’s screen name is CoolEnglishKid, and mine shall be MistressFay. This is going to be so much fun! I love talking to him!

Yesterday, my family and I went to Salem. It was pretty cool, but also kind of boring. All we did was walk around and go through the Salem museum. I don’t know how one community can make so much money off of the deaths of fifteen people. Wow. Fifteen. More people die daily at hospitals, and you don’t see people giving tours around there, now, do you?

But an awesome part was when we went to an antic shop. I found a necklace with a crescent moon. I really really REALLY wanted it. Mom said that we should walk around some more first and then we would come back and buy it. But I was terrified that someone was going to buy it while I was gone, that I said that I wanted to buy it right away. The sales lady came and, it turns out, the necklace was fifteen dollars when I only had ten! I had to beg and plead until mom gave me a five. I immediately put it on and haven’t taken it off since.

Last night, I had another weird dream. I was in a castle, in a large open space filled with windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. I was wearing an emerald dress and my hair was a red/orange. A knight was kneeling down to kiss my hand when I took a quick breath. I glanced over to the window and saw a figure made of light disappear.

Then I woke up. I looked out my window and saw the full moon. You know, I never noticed it before, but she’s really beautiful. I’m not quite sure, but I think that I heard a silky voice murmur, “Don’t worry. You’ll figure this out soon enough. Someone is coming to help you remember.” Then, I sank back into sleep.

Am I going crazy?

This is an interesting start to a fantasy story. I can guess where this might be turning, and am quite interested. It seems like you are off to a good start, but I have some advice.

I'm pretty sure that the trip to Salem and the moon necklace will be quite important with the development of your story. I suggest that you describe the Salem visit with more detail as well as the shop in which the necklace was found. Also, it might be good to describe the look of the necklace with more mystery to get the reader interested.

Also, usually the dream sequences are important looks into the future or the character who is having the dream. I suggest you add more emotion and detail to that also.

It is important to start with a good foundation. I suggest that you spend time visualizing your story and writing down what you see.

When edited, these few paragraphs could easily turn into pages of material. In all honestly, I think you have a fabulous idea that will blossom with work and addition.

I hope that this has helped you and I look forward to reading what is to come!