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Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:28 am
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thunder_dude7 says...

Description gives plenty of people fits. The writer, who has a pain trying to pull it off, and the reader, who gets annoyed with too little or too much.

So how do you describe things without giving too much?

Let's look at this passage:

Lisa hurried off her school bus and began walking home. She had curly brown hair, pale white skin, and blue eyes. She was thin, and, according to most boys at her school, very attractive. She arrived home and walked inside.

This is an example of over description. But wait...we didn't describe her very much! How can that be too much?

Read it again. Notice that the action - Lisa walking home - completely stopped for description. Instead of a walking girl, we saw a girl standing still, posing for a camera. That's NOT what you're shooting for.

So what should you do? Instead of packing all that into one sentence, do it subtly, inserting description into the action, like this:

Lisa hurried off the bus, her curly brown hair flying behind her as she ran. Wind rushed past her thin figure - she knew what was waiting when she arrived home. Her bright, blue eyes lit up with excitement as she opened the door.

See how that is done by simply stating an action involved with the body part - or, in other cases, objects - and a single adjective is put there? That's the key.

However, that passage still leaves one thing to be desired - the reader can easily notice that much description in such a short period of time. Instead, you should insert that information over as much as an entire chapter - be careful. Readers get bored with description, and they end up skimming. That's what you don't want.

Follow these rules, and your description will improve by leaps and bounds.

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Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:49 am
queenb4ever says...

You are a very good writer! All you writting tutorials help me a lot. You should write a book about writting. lol. I would buy it!
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