I hate the way my main character talks and thinks in the first chapter! I know it's just Pokemon fanfiction, but seriously?! His responses and thoughts are so cliche. For example, in a flashback to when his father is murdered, Thomas instantly makes it his duty to find his father's murder and kill him. This is him as a nine year old.
Thomas accepts Neo, another main character, upon first meeting him. He doesn't think to himself "Perhaps this guy shouldn't be trusted so quickly. I better pass on his offer to travel with me..."
He just says "Sure. Why not? The more the marrier!"
Thomas seems to have no flaws and pisses me off! It's my fault, though. I feel so bad for writing his character like this. He's amazing in my mind, but I don't know how to write characters at all.
Should I rewrite part of the first chapter? Last year, I rewrote the first chapter so much that I hated it! It's a year later, but I don't want to suck out the fun again. I don't want to continue with this bad of a character. I started writing the story two years ago, but when 9th grade came along everything went downhill. Any advice?
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