Christmas Tree

This poem took me by surprise. When I read the title, I thought it was going to be some happy little poem about holiday cheer or something. But it wasn't and I'm glad. Although it was sad, I liked it a lot! You did a good job of introducing the background information and I loved the ending. There were just a few times where the rhythm seemed weird, like in the third stanza where you wrote But I'll smile. It felt like it was too short of a sentence compared to everything else in the stanza. But overall it was great! (:

Whoa, okay, this is really sad, but I loved it.

Snow is falling
The wind is calling
Frost hugs the leaves
A blanket for the trees Good beginning, very descriptive, but every line needs a period.

It is here where we three stand
Wishing we were in the sand
But we will whether
As long as we are together Again, try adding some punctuation here.

But Fate tore us apart Don't capatalize fate.
It broke my little heart
But I’ll smile
At least for a little while

My mother and me
Used to sit beneath the Christmas tree
In the cold and in the snow
As we listened to the crow
But you see that crow had a call
I didn’t know my mother would fall…

Now it’s just my father and me
Sitting beneath the Christmas tree
He wishes I were a son This is saaaaaaad!!
I just wished we’d have some fun

The ice was slick
And daddy got sick
I looked for that crow
So that I would finally know

Now it’s just me
Sitting beneath the Christmas tree
I couldn’t look at that tree
How could this be?
It seemed like just yesterday...
But now is another day

I never knew the wind could bite
I didn’t think I’d ever have to fight
Every night
I wish with all my might
That it was again just us three
Beneath the Christmas tree

I was alone for awhile
Never thought that I could smile
But when I saw that crow
I knew it was my time to go
Now it’s just us three
Sitting once again beneath the Christmas tree Snuffle.

Holy cow, this was really good. It's extremely sad, but the ending is jus...wow. You did a fabulous job with this. Keep up the awesome work!

*sniffles and stares at the ground* that, was so sad. You should try changing the rhyme scheme, t restricts the poem. But... good job anyways.

*sniffles and stares at the ground* that, was so sad. You should try changing the rhyme scheme, t restricts the poem. But... good job anyways.

Snow is falling.
The wind is calling.
Frost hugs the leaves.
A blanket for the trees. great intro

It is here where we three stand,
Wishing we were in the sand. I get the idea but I don't like how Vaguely it's written
But we will whether,
As long as we are together. awww

But fate tore us apart.
It broke my little heart.
But I’ll keep this smile,
At least for a little while.

My mother and me,
Used to sit beneath the Christmas tree.
In the cold and in the snow,
As we listened to the crow.
But you see that crow had a call,
I didn’t know my mother would fall… You need to explain her death more.

Now it’s just my father and me,
Sitting beneath the Christmas tree. he didn't sit with you before, you never mentioned him
He wishes I were a son,
I just wished we’d have some fun.

The ice was slick,
And daddy got sick.
I looked for that crow,
So that I would finally know.

Now it’s just me,
Sitting beneath the Christmas tree.
I couldn’t look at that tree, don't use 'tree' so closely together
How could this be?
It seemed like just yesterday...
But now is another day. 'day' and 'day don't go well together or rhyme

I never knew the wind could bite.
I didn’t think I’d ever have to fight. right what, hunger, the crow, your desires?
Every night,
I wish with all my might,
That it was again just us three,
Beneath the Christmas tree.

I was alone for awhile,
Never thought that I could smile.
But when I saw that crow,
I knew it was my time to go.
Now it’s just again us three,
Sitting once again beneath the Christmas tree.

This was a great piece, kudos

Hi! I think you've had a great idea for a poem and it's sad and well expressed. But you seem to be a prisoner to your rhyming scheme. Remember, you shouldn't rhyme just for the sake of it because it sounds forced and obvious. Try playing around with different rhyming schemes, or even no rhyming scheme at all, and you might find that you can express your ideas in other ways when you're not restricted by making things rhyme. That's the only real complaint I have, but it's kind of a big one. I love the story that the poem tells but by forcing it to rhyme so much, you've restricted yourself in the way you tell it.