Echo of the Past

Once there were golden flowers and emerald leaves
And elven laughter among the trees
The thud of their dancing footsteps
Upon the ground
Thud, thud, thud...

Now all the leaves have turned to gold
And there are only footprints where they used to dance
The air is silent
With the memory of their laughter
Remember...

But sometimes you can see them
Dancing in your dreams
And if you listen to the western sea breeze
You can hear the echo of their laughter
Listen...
Echo, echo, echo...

This poem is in honor of The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I hope it's not plagiarism.

I love that poem! Lord of the Rings is my favorite series on earth (besides Narnia). There weren't any formating or gramatical errors that I could see. Maybe you could use a metaphore like "Their laughter was the essence of a shimering spring breeze". I really liked the words at the ends of the stanzas like "remember" and "listen". They give a nice flow.

I can't wait until you post some more!!! And don't be afraid to give totally critical reviews to me if you think of anything. I know it feels weird to tell someone you know that their poems stinks, but if one of mind does, I want to know. And it's good practice for you. I think already my writing's improved just because of the reviews I give.

I liked it. Is small but I like how it describes particular scenes and how it can make you imagine different things.

Thanks! I'd like to change the onomatopoeia thud to something different. Any suggestions?

very cool Short but sweet. I've never seen Lord of the Rings though.

Hiya! I'm Rosey and I'll be your reviewer today.

The first thing I noticed here was the beautiful imagery; simply fantastic. However, I wasn't too happy with the inconsistent flow here. In the first stanza, you have the first two lines rhyme, in the second, no lines rhyme and the line-length is rather inconsistent (with the second line being so long) and in the third stanza you have the second and third line rhyme. Poetry should have a certain flow to it, and right now you're breaking the flow up with the line-length and rhyme.

As for the onomonopia, I'd suggest "thump" instead of "thud." Or, if you still don't like it, look into a thesaurus to see what words mean the same but sound a bit more graceful.

PM me with questions!

~Rosey