No Easy Road of Life for Love

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lluvialover
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Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:59 am
lluvialover says... · Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:59 am
This is my latest love poem. I encourage all kinds of comments=)
No Easy Road of Life for Love

So anticipated yet neglected by no one’s fault:
Those moments which were lost
Cause drought in our serenity and hope.
Impatience rises and plays an evil role, but
Who or what we blame, to let out the frustration? Life.
Yet is it not the same one who stages ups and downs for us to play?
Only an idiot is content with constant happiness, he may
Be the one who forever sleeps, if could, but why then not just die?
And so must we rise and dive,
And for the happy moments thrive
While subconsciously realizing, we’ll fall again
Together or apart, yet in the end,
We wish at heart, we’ll lie embracing.
Last edited by lluvialover on Fri Jun 03, 2011 7:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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RoryLegend
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Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:02 am
RoryLegend says... · Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:02 am
Good, good. I just felt like the end wasn't really powerful, like it wasn't meant to end there. And there were a few parts that were oddly broken up. I think with some editing this could be really great.
All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come of it.

-Benjamin Mee
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lluvialover
Gender Female
Points 3010
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Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:07 pm
lluvialover says... · Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:07 pm
RoryLegend wrote:Good, good. I just felt like the end wasn't really powerful, like it wasn't meant to end there. And there were a few parts that were oddly broken up. I think with some editing this could be really great.

Yeah you are right about the ending, but could you tell me what other lines I could change? Maybe I should add transitions?
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Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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