Painted Red Nails

painted red nails
and fear of drowning
in jello.
scared by tall tales
and
waiting for him to say
hello.
darkness spawns fear
and camera flashes
are bright.
he says he's right here
but i can't feel him
hold tight.
love lost is worse
than a thousand deaths
she said.
the old witch's curse
made everyone hide in their
beds.
twisted rope ladders
and white painted walls
collide.
the asylum is madder
the sounds of the waterfall
subsides.
trinkets and q-tips
and secret passageways
go on.
this house is an ellipsis.
i am continually amazed
until it's gone.
Laugh tracks
and
cereal boxes
fill my mind.
ant attacks and
harsh-tongued foxes
are always unkind.
a Ticklish worm
and
dead rollie-pollies
make me cry.
a nod that confirms
and
chunky guacamole
makes me sigh.
im scared of being
happy
but scared of being sad.
there's a lot i'm not seeing
and
i'm in a want ad.
my face plastered everywhere
i go and
i see.
makes reverie despaired
so i sew
the fruit of a poisonous tree.

Don't forget to capitalize the pronoun I.

I'm not entirely sure what this is about, or what emotion you are trying to convey/make me feel, so it's hard for me to understand it or like it. Emotional poems are always strange, it's really hard to write them because you have to use the proper word choice and metaphors, etc to make your reader feel with you. It isn't just about what you feel, you have to make the reader relate and understand.

Best of luck.

Abruptly cutting off lines is interesting for a little, but then becomes too overused to remain effective. Similarly, some of the ideas here seem equally abrupt: "this house is an ellipsis" is a lovely line, but what does it mean if it isn't expanded a little? Yes, maybe that's in the following line, but I'm not sure, due to the punctuation (which also seems a tad haphazard, along with capitalization). Be careful of writing to the rhyme: "but scared of being sad. / there's a lot i'm not seeing/ and/ i'm in a want ad."

There's alot of talk about being scared, but past that, I can't really see where this is going. I think it could benefit from a little condensing, whether word-wise, or line-wise.

PM me if you have any questions
-Amelia

This was very abstract and intriguing. I actually liked this poem a lot. I found that your immense imagery was not only fascinating, but it actually drew emotions out of me. I really liked, though, how you said "I am scared of being happy, scared of being sad", because that really makes it easier for the reader to understand.

Which brings me to the downfall of this poem--it's too abstract. You use so many abstract, other-worldly, not connecting symbology and comparisons here--but you don't link them to the more concrete, blunt explanations.

Otherwise, it's good. I liked it. Just make sure to shorten all the metaphores and impractical stuff, add some blunt-er stuff, and it will hit the jackpot.

I liked this! It was clever and interesting, but a little hard to read because it was one big spindly chunk. I think that if you broke this up into stanzas that would be great.

Probably another good thing to do would be to go through and capitalize your pronouns - mostly the I's, because little things like that are annoying.

a Ticklish worm

Ticklish should be lowercase in this case.

but scared of being sad.
there's a lot i'm not seeing
and
i'm in a want ad.

Something about that last line seemed kind of forced and fake. Maybe you can go into some detail as to what you mean? That might help.

my face plastered everywhere
i go and
i see.
makes reverie despaired
so i sew
the fruit of a poisonous tree.

I think that wasn't the strongest finish you could have had. I reread the last several lines a couple of times, and I decided that it was a weak way to end a powerful poem; besides, it sounded unfinished. Like you could have gone on, elaborated a bit, you know?

Peace, love, chocolate,
Muffin