Young Writers Society

This is my very first post and it's not very good but I was just wondering what you guys thought....so please be brutally honest!

My feelings for you are strong,
but I can't seem to find the strength,
so much is left unspoken
It is as if I have no voice,
but instead I sit and dream of what will never be.

Thinking of every word you said,
every smile you made,
the last steps you took,
until the next day where I can relive my heart skipping
a beat once again

Even though you hesitate to be yourself
in my eyes I see you as perfection
If only you knew you weren't just a shadow
but the light that shines within me

Every minor hint that reveals nothing
but a new side of you is a path that
leads me to the real you

Loving you fills my heart with gladness,
but knowing we will never be feels as if
the journey has never begun

My love is nothing but a secret
that shall never be revealed
THE END

that was good i really liked it

That was really good but here's a few things I saw

until the next day where I can relive my heart skipping
a beat once again

You should make that a little bit more of an actual idea, that makes sense,
but still not an actual sentance, like you would put in a story.

Every minor hint that reveals nothing
but a new side of you is a path that
leads me to the real you

That was a part that I thought would make no diffrence if it was in the poem or not, and those are type of parts you don't want because the reader will get bored and/or confused



but other than that, it was a really great poem, keep writing...

-Brooke