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In the shadow of a star Chapter 3



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Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:31 pm
kris says...



Chaper 3 -
That’s it for today I think, though Dan. He proceeded to mop the sweat from his brow. He idly meandered his way back to the horse cart, exhausted from harvesting the tall lavender all morning. Tall lavender only grew in this region of the world, sometimes growing to six feet. It was all the work of the mages, who crossbred wheat with lavender.
Dan inspected the bundles of lavender crop that lay in the cart. Before jumping into the cart. He took hold of the reigns, his horse jerked expectantly. It had grown impatient, in the heat.
“On Bess.” Dan commanded, as he gave the reigns a slight tug.
The horse exploded into motion, impatiently. Eager to be back in the stable; out of the sun. Dan could empathize with Bess’s discomfort he fidgeted in his seat. He pulled at his saturated shirt, that clung to his frame. His leather trousers too had come to irritate him, chafing against his thighs.
The two of them proceeded down the sun-baked road, flanked by lavender crop at either side. As they travelled the crop began to melt into a purple haze, which had no end in sight. Dan began to plan his evening out, in his mind. I really need to see about fixing my roof, before I go out. I wonder if the tavern is putting on a band tonight. If not, I can always find some drunkard to sing to me. Breaking into an unrestrained fit of laughter, as he imagined Lord Olan serenading him, in the tavern. The humour hung in his mind, as he began to plot how he might get the old man into the tavern at all.
Lord Olan has always been good to me. Dan thought, as a sweet sentiment came through. He began to recall his life as a street urchin, in the back alleys of Derç. Working as an errand boy for the smugglers. Fighting for morsels, of near rancid fish, that lay discarded. Until one day, he was caught carrying goods for the smugglers, by the city guards. Dan’s blood began to boil as the remembered how they beat him nearly to death.
Dan shook his head violently, shaking off the thoughts. He must have been lost in his memories for some time. As the cart had side tracked off the road and had begun to cut into the field. The cart, shook violently on the uneven terrain. Dan looked behind him, to find that the horse had trampled nearly, one hundred yards of the crop. Dan’s heart sank into his belly – the thought of having to explain this, to Olan, gave him chills.
“Woah Bess. Stop. Stop!” Dan pulled on the reigns with all the strength he could muster, as he shrieked frantic commands to Bess.
The horse, halted instantly while the cart jittered to a stop. Bess looked back at Dan with an almost incredulous look, her eyes hooded and moody.
Dan took out a rag from his pocket; leaning forward he proceeded to mop the sweat from Bess’s head; while patting her side kindly with his other hand.

“How am I going to sort this mess out?” Dan asked Bess rhetorically. He let out a heavy sigh of defeat.
The heat had become over powering now; he could barely breathe. Dan arched his head back and stared up at the sun, shading his eyes with his hand – yet still squinting tightly from of the intense light before letting out a frustrated torrent of profanities into the sky. Dan then inhaled deeply, made as if he was going to scream but instead dropped his head down and let out another sigh.

Oh shit. Dan thought to himself. He had been sweating so much that his leather trousers had expanded and the seams were coming loose.
Dan knew what he had to do; he couldn’t afford to have them repaired yet until he got paid at the end of the month. He looked around to see if anybody was there – he knew that nobody would be, but nerves had now taken hold.
Certain that nobody was in the area, Dan dismounted from the cart and turned to Bess. He was going to have to get back onto the road somehow, Bess can’t go backwards and he couldn’t afford to damage anymore of the crop.
Squatting onto his haunches Dan began to undo Bess’s bindings and the fastenings that held the cart. Bess sensed her freedom and shook of the cart immediately – as it fell forward with a thud onto the dry earth.

Dan wondered whether or not he had gotten in over his head, could he really lift this cart? He didn’t really have any other option. With that he walked round to where Bess was standing; who was now wandering slowly into field, looking for something to graze on. Dan once again was down on his haunches and gripped the two wooden arms of the cart and lifted.
“Come on – get – up,” Dan hissed, as his face turned a shade of violet and contorted under the strain. His arms quivered violently as they inched closer to his shoulders, flicking off beads of moisture from his sodden shirt.
The cart’s poles were now level with his shoulders, Dan’s face turned focused and determined. Then with a shot of strength transferred them from his hands to his shoulders. A pang of intense pain shuddered down his back – Dan then let out a great ream of swears and curses under his breath.

“Ok.. It’s ok, it’s all ok. You can do this Dan” He said aloud to himself.
His face turned a dangerous shade of violet once more as he dug his feet into the baked earth and pushed the cart.
The cart resisted Dan’s pushing for what seemed an eternity, until Dan found himself face down in the flaky soil and the cart rolling serenely down a slight incline, back onto the road.

Dan kissed the ground muttering “thank you” over and over again.
Invigorated by this minor triumph, Dan sprang up and as he did the seam of his trousers split on his right thigh.
“Aww no.” he whimpered. He was hoping he wasn’t going to have to take off his pants, but he didn’t really have a choice now. He couldn’t risk having them damaged further.
Once again he tried to spy around him, looking out for signs of life, but he couldn’t see much over the tall lavender. Dan’s brow furrowed as he pulled off his water-logged shirt. He wringed it to release both his anger and the sweat it had absorbed, mopped his torso with it before wringing it again. Dan then dropped it to his side, the remaining moisture made it slap against the ground.

Dan looked down at his trousers and blushed, and began to untie his trouser cords and demurely began to slip off his pants. It was more difficult than he had thought, the leather stuck to his skin persistently at his knees. Dan was not wearing any underwear so refrained from bending down to remove his trousers from around his ankles, so instead kicked them off; which made for a most bizarre spectacle.
Now fully naked, Dan took the opportunity to stand with his arms and legs spread out, catching the breeze; which seemed amplified against his bare skin.

Dan then broke into a sly smile as he remembered taking his first girlfriend into the tall lavender fields, he sure hated harvesting them but they had their benefits.
The breeze now subsided, Dan collected his shirt from the ground and wrapped it around his waist, taking care to cover himself up as best he could. He then bent down and broke a piece of trampled lavender from it’s root. Using the hard base of the stalk to pin the shirt together.

Bell had not really wandered too far from Dan; she was content with grazing on the crop that she had previously destroyed.
“Come Bell” Dan ordered, making clicking noises as he walked back toward the road and the cart. Bell followed idly, picking up morsels of lavender as she did.
Now close enough to the cart, Dan took hold of Bess’s bridle and led her over to the front of the cart, and proceeded to fasten the cart back onto Bess.

Now finished securing Bess’s straps and fittings, Dan considered the course wooden seat of the cart and his bare legs. He mused to himself. With that he made his round the back of the cart and removed some of the crop from the bundles and crudely weaved them together into a loose mesh – that he hen placed on the wooden seat, before climbing on the cart for himself. He felt somewhat liberated to be sitting high up on the cart, with only his shirt cinched around his waist…the linen of which was a little transparent.

“On Bess” he said in a dreamy voice, as once again Bess obediently hurtled into motion.
  





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Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:46 pm
Save the dugongs! says...



well when he is trying to push the cart can his face really turn a shade of violet in the burning heat? wouldnt it turn a sweltering red instead?

If the Horse is moody then the horse wouldnt return to him by call. he would say it, but walk towards the horse and lead by reigns as well...

anyway i liked it :D
  





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Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:22 am
Jay says...



'That's it for today, I think, thought Dan' would be better as 'That's it for today, thought Dan'.

Instead of 'It had grown impatient, in the heat' say, 'she had grown impatient in the heat'.

This is a promising and funny chapter. The plot hasn't taken shape yet, but that's okay-it's only the third chapter. Slow and steady wins the race. There's a lot of potential here-good luck with this!
  





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Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 pm
powerofthree says...



Great job...it's getting better and better along with your writing. Your plot has come up much yet either. And you don't want to have too many characters; it's getting pretty confusing with all of them. I still liked it though! :)
"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."-Jules de Gaultier

"No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies."-Daisy Bates
  








You are in the wrong land even if the roosters recognize you.
— Nathalie Handal, "Noir, une lumière"