Chapter 11:
“Well, I guess I should thank you two idiots for getting me out of there. Tell you what, as a reward I’m not going to kill either of you.”
Axel and Hank were back at their base with their leader Tex. So far, she hadn’t hurt either of them.
“Wait,” Axel said, “We save your life and you return the favour by not killing us?”
“You got a problem with that?” Tex asked.
“Well, yes. I mean, we’re your subordinates. We’re supposed to work for you. It’s common sense that you’d need us to be alive in the first place to follow your orders.”
“Well, if you don’t like my show of gratitude I can just kill you know.” She raised her gun to Axel’s head.
“Uh, never mind. I take it back. Thank you for not killing us, boss.”
Tex pointed her gun at the ground. “That’s better.”
“Wait, I’m confused.” They both turned to look at Hank. “So, is Tex and guy or a girl?”
“I’m a girl, dipsh*t.”
“Then why did you sound like a guy for the past three months we’ve been stationed here?”
“I have my reasons,” she said, “and unless you like breathing through a hole in your head you should stop asking me about it.”
“So now that we got you out of the enemy’s base, what are we going to do now?” Axel asked.
“Well, we could always try to fix the tank,” Hank suggested.
Axel turned to Hank and said, “Nobody here knows how to fix it, dumba**!”
“What about Tex? It’s her tank.”
“Hey, you’ve got a point there.” Axel turned to their leader and asked, “Can you fix the tank, boss?”
“Of course.”
“This is perfect,” Axel said. “When Tex fixes the tank we can use it to attack the enemy base while they’re still mourning for their dead team-mate!”
Meanwhile, back at the other base…
Lopez had stopped shooting at Grif a while ago and was now standing on the edge of the base with Serge. The red armoured sergeant turned to the Spanish robot and said, “Hey Lopez, what ever happened to that silver guy of ours? What was his name? K? Z?”
Lopez turned to Serge and, in Spanish, said, “The silver man was named D and he died in a great battle against the soldiers in black. My precious jeep was destroyed in the same battle.”
“Yeah, yer probably right. I bet Q is on his way back from the store right now,” Serge said. “I hope he remembered to pick up some headlight fluid for the warthog, we’re run’n low.”
Meanwhile, D, Simmons and Caboose were on the cliff edge looking down at D’s corpse. It hadn’t moved since the day Caboose shot him with the tank. They stared at the body for a few minutes in silence before D turned to the other two soldiers and said, “I am not happy about this.”
“I have an idea,” Caboose said. The other two soldiers said nothing. “I HAVE AN IDEA!”
“Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose. We were just ignoring you,” Simmons told the blue armoured soldier.
Caboose turned to D and said, “Since you possessed that other guy and took control of him, why don’t you just possess your own body?”
“Oh, I see. So, that way I would be living inside of my own dead body?” D asked.
“Yes.”
“Unable to move, just laying there rotting in the sun for all eternity?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, Caboose. I’ll be sure to get right on that.”
“I think you are a mean ghost.”
“Dude, you really stink,” Simmons said.
“What?”
“Your body, it stinks.”
“Simmons,” D said, “the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body!”
“Quit your whining,” Simmons said. “Nothing is going to happen to it.”
“It’s a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army and it deserves to be laid to rest!”
“Get over it, you’re already dead. What’s the worst that can happen now?”
Caboose pointed to something in the sky. “Hey, D, look! Birds! …Why are they flying around in circles?”
D sighed, “God…” He turned back to Simmons and said. “Okay, Simmons. Get my body out of here.”
“What? I’m not touching that thing. It’s probably full of maggots!”
“Look,” D said, “We can do this one of two ways. A) you can carry my body back to our base on your own free will, or B) I can possess you and do it myself. Either choice works fine for me as long as my body gets there.”
Simmons sighed and said, “Fine, I’ll carry your stupid body.” He kneeled down to pick up D’s body and fling it over his shoulder. He let out a grunt as he stood back up. “Man, you’re heavy!”
“It’s called dead weight, now move it.” When Simmons had left D turned to Caboose and said, “Hey, Caboose. Wanna play a game?”
“Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! I love games!”
“Great. This game is called gravedigger. If you go back to our base and dig a grave for my body, you win.”
“What do I win?” Caboose asked.
“I’ll give you a quarter, now get going.”
“This is going to be fun!” Caboose said as he hurried back to the base.
D was about to follow them when he saw something in the distance. Three black armoured soldiers were making their way toward the busted tank. “Uh oh,” D said. “Looks like they’re up to something again.” He didn’t go after the enemies to stop whatever it was they were going to do. Instead, he sat down and began to watch. “This should be interesting.”
Axel, Hank and Tex all made their way toward the tank. They were careful not to get spotted along the way. “Okay,” Axel said. “We need to be quick, when we rescued Tex I saw that they already had their jeep fixed. So whatever you guys do, don’t let them see use before we get the tank back online.”
Tex looked at him and asked, “Did you just give me an order?”
“Uh… no I didn't.”
“Yes, I think you did.”
“Nope, I was just making a suggestion, that’s all.”
Tex shook her head and went to the upside-down tank.
“Axel?”
Axel turned to Hank and said, “What?”
“Even if we get the tank fixed, how are we going to turn it over. I mean, it’s not like as if we can just lift-” Hank stopped talking when he saw Tex lift the tank back onto its treads with the greatest of ease. “Oh… she’s very strong.”
“Hank, why don’t you keep watch? We don’t want the enemies to catch us by surprise.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Hank hid behind a rock a few yards away and kept an eye out for enemies.
Axel came up to Tex and said, “Hey, boss.”
“Can’t you see I’m working here?” she asked.
“I just wanted to ask you something. You used to be a mercenary, right?”
“Yes.”
“But since you decided not to kill us you must not be as bad as I thought you were.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m bad, I just get hired to do bad things,” she said.
“Yeah, but you like it, don’t you?” Axel asked.
“Well, I think it’s important to enjoy what you do.”
“So, let’s say I paid you to kill Hank,” Axel said, pointing to Hank over yonder. “You would still do it, right? Even though we’re on the same team?”
“Is this a hypothetical discussion, or should we start talking numbers?” Tex asked.
“Yeah… I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Okay,” Grif said, “I’ll go again. I spy something… that begins with…”
“Dirt,” Simmons answered.
“Damn! How did you know?”
“Well, because you did rock last time,” Simmons told him. “That’s all that’s out here, is rocks and dirt.”
“Yeah, this canyon sucks.”
“Grif!” Grif and Simmons turned to see Serge coming up the cement ramp. “You mind explainin’ to me why I have a rot’n corpse sit’n beside the base?”
“Don’t look at me,” Grif said. “I didn’t do it. Are you sure it wasn’t Caboose? He did bring home that dead bird a few weeks ago.”
“It was me, Serge,” Simmons said. “That corpse belongs to D. I was going to burry it when Caboose was finished digging the grave.”
“Well you’d better do somethin’ with it soon. It’s start’n to smell like cheese.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Uh oh,” D said as he watched the enemies fixing the tank. “This isn’t good. If they fix the tank my team won’t stand a chance. And I still need to do something about that A.I. in her head. I’d better go back to the base and warn the others.” As he started walking he felt weak. “Dammit, why does this have to happen now?” Staying in ghost form took a lot of his concentration. After a while it starts to take its told. “The only way I can talk to anyone now is if I possess someone’s body.” He made his way down the cliff and toward the base. He didn’t care who’s body he took, just so long as he could warn everyone.
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