I liked this. Normally, I don't critique series, but I thought someone should. XD. I really do like it. It is just really short, even if it is just a chapter. I didn't see anything that needs to be corrected. I like the description. LIke I said, it's just a little short. Hope I could help.
Jamie Bondage
"It is better to save than to destroy, and that justice is most righteous which is tempered by mercy." Mark Twain
Ahh...why didn't Seden shoot Erik? It makes some sense that he'd hide and only put the branch back after Erik left, but why waste the chance? He could have easily killed the leader of the dreaded Winged Mercenaries.
Writergirl, thank you for critiquing my story...I just wanted to tell you that yes, this is short for a chapter, but it's the second half of chapter 19, you see. I posted the first half earlier, but didn't have time to finish it, so this was just the ending. I'd like it if you could check out the first part of this chapter as well!
Thanks so much for critiquing!
~Madame Kool
EDIT: greenjay, I'll explain later about Seden.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein
Ah, a good end to the chapter. Just the one point to make -
Gently, the mist trailed down from the tree and let [s]it's[/s] its large, green burden down across the wide, burned area that surrounded the king's camp.
Perhaps add a little more onto the end from Seden's point of view? But generally, I loved it and look forward to the next chapter.
I'm obscenely enthralled by those two. :D I am *such* a sucker for a good romance. Not to mention I love the idea of you strapping her to his back for a road trip. NO. PERSONAL. SPACE. Hell yes. Sign me up! lol
The others pretty much said it all, and I was reading it too fast to notice anything real technical. I was eager to see "Brad," "Kiera," or "net" somewhere.
Well. Keep them coming PLEASE! :D
- aisho
I see no difference in race, color, religion, or sexual orientation. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who accept others unlike themselves, and those who do not.
“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.” — Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
