awww... how sad... but we all feel this way sometimes... is this anything that connects to you personally? I really like this poem! It is short, sweet, and to the point.
"Am I that obvious? And if it's written on my face... I hope it never goes away." Pieces of me, Ashlee Simpson
Hey Linds! Long time, no talky. Anyways, I'm trying to become a mentor, so you are going to be the first person to get a 'thorough' critique from me. Lucky you!
Here it is :
I can't stand it anymore!
Just die <--------I think there should be some sort of punctuation here. stop laying in the hospital bed <--------Capitalize the 's' and again, maybe some punctuation. Just die <---------Ditto. you're killing me on the inside <-------Capital 'y'.
Sickness, Illness, Disease <-------Hmm... why are all of the first letters in caps? I don't know what it is
but you won't get any better so please, <-------Capital 'b'. Just die!
You keep having these episodes
Making me think it's the end
but you make it <-----Capital 'b'. It's never the end of the road
My favorite part of this whole poem was where it said : 'It's never the end of the road'. Great poem. Keep up the good work. (But, I do think that you could have used jucier, descriptive words.)
Tom Riddle: "You read my diary?" Harry Potter: "At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book."
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that life's going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming. — Unknown
Lucky you!
