~nariel~

Hey guys, thanks for the comments. I was shocked to see so many. About the stabbing thing. Originally, Chris would have stabbed Lauren in the end, but it was too ...

Hey, thanks for your feedback Meep. You were right about the whole stabbing thing. It does seem a bit rushed. So I edited a few things, hopefully, for the better. ...

Okay, this is more like an angelic fiction. I wasn't sure if it belonged in Other Fiction or Fantasy. So, I just picked Fantasy because there were other elements of ...

That was really really good. But I have a few pointers. First, I think you should give your characters some names so you're not saying 'he' and 'she' all the ...

Hello, I haven't read the other chapters before this, but I promise I will. Now, onto the critique. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!” it was really shrill and Luster knew at once it was ...

Let's see...I just finished reading Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer...Now I'm going back to reread Twilight. I just love that series!

Hey, This was really good for a beginning. I found a couple of things though. She stepped off of the sidewalk and unto the street, watching for cars out of ...

*smacks head* Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! I must have looked over that. Yes, you're right. James does knock her over. Oops. :oops: Keep up the good work then. Sorry ...

I really like this. It's very very sweet and painful at the same time. My only suggestion is to make this longer!!! It's really good. Erm...I think that's it. You're ...

Yay! *claps* Another chapter! Okay, one: this was still a little bit choppy, jumping from one scene to the next. Try slowing down a bit and making things flow easier. ...

Hello, This was a little short, but I can manage a nice review. First, I think you should put a space between your paragraphs like this: Laughing faces swam into ...

Good job! =) I need to point out a couple of things, though. But once I change, it’s a wonderful feeling. I feel free, especially when I start running. And ...

Well, I would definitely choose this over Blood and Chocolate any day. And that's very very good. I love your style. The pacing was perfect for me because I like ...

This poem made my day. I really liked it. It got a little wordy near the middle. Like your fellow reviewers said: 'it's a bit muddy'. But the whole idea ...

Hello! Okay first, this was a really good start, although it was a little short. I hope you add more on. Next: this sounds a lot like Planet of the ...