~nariel~

Thanks Dreami. Your advice was awesome. I didn't want a prologue, but I couldn't think of any way to weave the history about the different countries and stuff into my ...

Hey, Here's a bit of an edit. I don't know if I've made it even more boring or not but...I promise that Chapter 1 will be up soon. A/N: Seeminglymeaningless, ...

Hey, I'm here! First, your dialogue seemed a little bit strained. I don't think people would really talk like that. Try watching how the characters in a fantasy movie talk, ...

Hmmm. The beginning part of this piece was like something I would read on the back of a book. The rest was so so. I think you could do more ...

Hello! My name is Nariel and welcome to YWS. First, I suggest that you put spaces in between your paragraphs so it's easier to read. Nobody likes reading big blocks ...

sokool15: No, there isn't really a story behind the name. It's just a name, I guess. :) ~N~

Ooooooh, I'll comment. Okay, one, the Northerners are pretty awesome. I love penguins and reindeer. Seccond: So this is basically the outline of the beings who live in your world, ...

Sorry, I had another comment. :) I missed this earlier, but you said that Ayra will be maddened by the man's blood because she hasn't hunted for so long. I ...

Hey, I'm Nariel and I'm your local goth girl. I *heart* black nail polish and deep very very emotional stories. I like writing fantasy as well as a little bit ...

Hello, I know you're going to edit it soon, but I'll still comment on what I saw anyway. Yes, I think there is too much description and it overpowers your ...

Hello! I enjoyed reading this a lot. But, I have to agree that I could't really feel for your character. At the end of this I was just like: Ok, ...

Excelent! I liked this piece, it was very very good, but I have a few nit-picky things I want to point out. Your characters are a little bit bland in ...